Farewell 2012... forever dear to my heart

I picked up this annoying habit when I did my BEd... reflecting. Ugh. It rears its ugly head every now and then... like tonight. As I sit in a quiet house listening to Sarah McLachlan's beautiful Wintersong album, the need to refllect on this past year is like a grade 9 girl screaming in my ear... as irrational and annoying as it is, there is no choice but to address it.

When you begin a year going through a miscarriage, experiencing a debilitatingly inconvenient mystery ailment and a backpack full of bad decisions, it leaves you a little apprehensive about what the new year has in store for you. Despite the rough start, what an amazingly beautiful and generous year. I know I have said this before but when I look back over the last two years, what an incredible amount of change for the three of us. More than anything that all this change has brought, I am thankful for the peace I feel in my soul. Should my time here on earth end tomorrow, I would begin a new journey (or just go with the wind - I haven't really figured out what I believe will happen) with a full heart. Every unfortunate decision I have made or regrettable path I have taken has landed me in this place at this moment and I sit here with my pups at my feet looking at a beautiful tree and a home ready to welcome people I love to celebrate Christmas.

I began this year by listing off what I was thankful for on a regular basis. Although I think about it every day, I have not really written about it in a while. I am so incredibly grateful to be ending this year with a new husband and a new extended family; what an amazing gift these people are. I am thankful for all the wonderful people we have welcomed into our lives with our move to our new home. I am so flattered to be held in such high regard by a new neighbour and friend that she is unable to believe that I am not her Secret Santa. I appreciate so much the people who have continued to be a part of our lives, to welcome the paramedic into their lives and to embrace us as a couple and a family. I am so happy that the kidlet has neighbourhood friends and a school where he is thriving... and for his teacher who made a DVD of his acting debut. I feel great appreciation that I am well enough this year to participate in the holidays: to host a holiday luncheon for 140 students; to catch up with old friends who are in town for the holidays; host two Christmas dinners and a New Year's Eve party; and just to be able to leave the house. I am thankful to reconnect with a childhood friend, pick up where we left off (albeit virtually) and celebrate the silver anniversary of our friendship. I am thankful that I am back to a job that I love... and for my sense of humour during the times when I am not really loving it all that much.

While we said good-bye to others this year, I am grateful for the time we shared and the lessons they taught me... whether intentional or not. I am sad part of our family decided to leave but excited at the possibilities in store for my brother. I am thankful that I have come to an understanding with my 80 year old man stomach... I will steer clear of all things dairy and it will allow me - about 85% of the time - to get on with my life. I am certainly happy to accept an 85% recovery rate at this point... and just be thankful that it wasn't one of the more serious ailments the doctors threw at me with a wave of their dismissive hands as they ordered more pointless tests.

Earlier this year, the mother of someone who is incredibly special to the kidlet died. Although we were only acquaintances, I think about her often... usually as I listen to her daughter's laughter come through the speaker on the kidlet's iPhone as they "secretly" chat via Facetime or when our hockey kids tease the kidlet about his not-so-secret first love. Her not being able to hear her daughter's beautiful giggle has helped me find my own peace and perspective. At the end of the day, I am just so darn grateful to be witness to all these milestones in the life of such a special boy and to have a unique and dynamic person by my side holding my hand and kissing my forehead.

Ding Dong... Kids Come Knocking

The other day, as I looked into a rather disgusting toilet that I had only just cleaned a few days before and was somewhat perplexed at how this came to be, it dawned on me... I live with four guys. Four! It was yet another light bulb moment which reminded me how life can change in ways we never imagine... never did I imagine my household looking like it does at this moment and never did I think I would be my age with two "sons" in their late teens. Hell, to be perfectly honest, sometimes I look at the kidlet and still wonder "Where the heck did you come from?" And never, never! did it dawn on me I would one day be the smallest person in the house. Once again, the surprise of the inevitable...

On the Oprah channel, they constantly flash the saying "The Best of Times is Now..." and this year I really get it. Our household today looks nothing like I imagined it would this time last year... two strangers came to live - one we planned for and one who just came to us unexpectedly - and what a perfectly great fit. As my mother constantly points out, "It's like they have always been here."

As parents, we are experiencing a lot of inevitable and surprise firsts this year... buying the kidlet shoes which are five!! sizes bigger than they were this time last year, the kidlet Facetiming a girl, finally! watching him perform in a school play, having the puberty talk (way to go, paramedic!), going through a dozen eggs in one meal, hearing a 19 year old introduce me as his "mom," hiding in our room while our older "sons" entertain, picking kids up from parties at 2 am, grounding an overgrown kid to the breakfast table until he comes clean with a girl, watching the kidlet's face light up as he is incessantly teased by the older guys over everything from girls, to picking up dog poop, to haircuts, to eating his fruit a day... watching the joy on the kidlet's face has probably been the greatest out of all these truly awesome experiences.

I have learned many things from our new experiences this year - including that, at every hour of every day, you can find either Friends or the Big Bang Theory on at least one channel - and so, despite my favourite Ross Gellar quote of "Nobody likes change except for a wet baby" - I sit on this rare quiet, snowy evening and think "Actually, I do..." What unfolds for us in life is like the greatest surprise gift of all... it would just be super duper if all these surprises came with a cleaning lady.

Yes, Just the One

At some point I reached the age where people started asking, "Do you have any children?" I'm not exactly sure when it started but now, every time I meet someone new, it is asked... without fail. When I lived in the city and I gave my answer of "yes, I have one kidlet, he is (insert age here)" following it with some funny little tidbit about him, that satisfied the curiousity. Since I moved to what is - let's face it, the country - my answer never seems to be suffice. People out here seem to find it inconceivable that people only have one child. Inevitably, the follow up question is: "Just the one?" I am tempted to answer this completely assanine question with one of two possible responses:

1. No, I have more  but he is the only one I like so he's the only one I acknowledge.

2. Yes, but we are vigorously trying every other day - sometimes up to five times in one day - for more. Do you have any suggestions on the best positions for procreation?

I'm sort of floored as to what people who have just met me are expecting me to say. Seriously. If I had more than one, I am pretty sure I would mention it. I mean: have they ever met anyone who responded with a "no, I have more"?

A couple of weeks ago, I was introduced to a couple and the woman asked the "just the one?" question so I gave my standard response of "For now..." which seems the best way to curb any further discussion. She then went on to tell me about her baby and then dropped that they already had another baby on the way. My first reaction was: How lucky.. and how very Tori Spelling of you but then her husband made some sort of dig implying the third baby was her fault. A couple with two babies in a little over a year or so sitting across from us who just had another miscarriage and another couple who knew both our stories. It was like someone had just plunked down a huge piece of awkward pie in front of all of us.

Even though I am pretty sure she did not know about our loss, she seemed embarrassed and apologetic about her fertility... I am guessing she was probably told she was to blame... he certainly did not seem elated about another addition to his family. Instead of my mumbled "Congratulations," what I really wanted to say was "Please don't apologize for having another baby... just apologize to yourself for who you are having these babies with because that is how I ended up with just the one."

The End of a Love Affair...

I fell in love for the first time in 1989 but the relationship was fleeting and not fully my own. It belonged to my high school boyfriend's mother. A 1987 Subaru Loyale. While my first time left some lifelong scars, (a collision between car and garage door; thankfully my high school boyfriend did not rat me out to his mother until we broke up nearly six years later), I became a life long Subaru lover. Three years later, I spent a winter in Lake Louise covetting all the Subarus of the year round residents. After the break up, when I would see my former boyfriend driving around in the Loyale, I am not exactly sure which one my heart was aching for.

My love was not to be reciprocated until 2008 but it was worth the wait. A 2006 Subaru Outback with barely any kilometres in my favourite colour. A dream come true! (Seriously, when asked the lotto question, that would be my response). After owning seven other cars, I was so completely enamoured with my car I would drive just to drive.

I was so excited, I actually posted pictures on Facebook... and was completely puzzled when people questioned my sexuality. Seriously. They did. I had no idea that lesbians had an official car. I called down to San Diego to confirm this with my lesbian aunts. They had no idea. Frankly, I did not care; I was in love. Hilariously, I received a call from San Diego less than a week later letting me know that Martina Navratilova was pitching Outbacks on the lesbian network... at least she has good taste and recognizes superior automotive craftsmanship.

For four years, my Outback and I have been inseparable. We have survived two separate encounters with drunken teenagers, hauled around kids and dogs and sports equipment, spent nearly a year together being hobos with money, enjoyed numerous camping and road trips and spent hours upon hours commuting in car lover bliss. We have racked up nearly 165 000 km together and never once has it let me down... even when I neglected it more than I should.

How ironic that it would be a man who would come between us. How ironic that my beloved Outback would not accommodate the body of the guy I married. How ironic that the guy I married would accept everything about me but my car. Tomorrow, I bid a dieu to my beloved Subaru in exchange for a vehicle that will accommodate both my humunkuous (Big Bang Theory reference here) self and my Gigantor spouse as well as kids and dogs and stuff.

My heart is broken. When I was six and my brother four, my parents traded in their BMW and I remember watching my mother try to console my sobbing brother at the dealership; his grief was almost overwhelming to watch. Until today, I did not fully appreciate how one person could be so attached to a car. I get that it is just a thing without any feelings and that I am being rather silly but it seems only fitting to write this eulogy and shed a tear or two.

Happy New Year!

When the kidlet and I toured around his new school yesterday, it was so peaceful. Schools before classes begin always remind me of Christmas Eve; everything is in its place, quiet preparations are underway, everything waiting for the real fun to begin. As we were wandering the deserted halls with the lights turned off, a teacher burst through the doors singing "Happy New Year." While it wasn't quite the same as my all time favourite commercial for Staples with the father "skating" through the aisles with the shopping cart to the tune of the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, it made me smile.

The start of the school year is our new year, new beginning... as I imagine it is for many households. January 1 is just an extension of the Christmas season in our house. This is our time of change. As a teacher, each new school year is like starting a new job with a whole new batch of co workers; I bring my knowledge and skills from my previous job and blend it with all that is new. Just like starting a new job, there is always the excited nervous anticipation. And, of course, the constant changing of classrooms and course loads also helps in making it feel like a new job every year. After what was a tumultuous year in public education in BC, I look forward to a fresh start as we wait out the demise of our current government and a less oppressive future. For the kidlet, new grade, new teacher, new classmates - it is sort of the same. But for both of us, back to a regular schedule after two months of little routine and, frankly, where we lose track of the day of the week and forego pretty much all the household rules.

I'm sure I have said this before but I love change; think about how bored we would be without it. It is probably what I love most about teaching; every year is different. In the past, change in our personal lives usually went hand and hand with drama, craziness and chaos; to experience change as part of the natural evolution of life has been such a blessing. This past year our household has seen many changes some of which have been challenging, some a little bit sad but with a whole lot of wonderful.

As I visited today with a truly incredible lady who I have not seen in 11 months, we shared the many changes in our lives over the past year. As she recently celebrated fourteen years of marriage, she remarked that it is so wonderful and such a special gift to find a life partner. And how much more fun the changes in our lives are when we have someone to share them with! I could not agree more; I give thanks for this each and every day. In a lot of ways it is a strange feeling knowing that you will never have to experience anything alone ever again; strange in a "pinch me", "is this a dream?" sort of way. It is like winning the lottery of life! It makes the rough stuff challenging rather than devestating and the good stuff more spectacular.

With many changes behind us and many more to come, I am excited for our new year and how we will evolve as a couple and a family. I look forward to watching the paramedic take over the household on his weekdays off, to sharing our home with a teenage hockey player, to watching the kidlet develop neighbourhood friendships and to finally accomplish his goal of being taller than me. How different all of our resolutions will look this year!

Happy New Year everyone!

Oh the Inevitable... Quelle Surprise!

Why is it that, even though we know something is inevitable, we are always surprised when it happens?

You know, like the kids who ride their longboards down gravel ridden roads and are shocked when they end up with road rash. Or the ones who never complete any school work, rarely attend class and then can't figure out why they didn't pass the class.

After watching Jon be browbeaten by Kate on televeision was anyone really surprised that he left? Seriously. Or that Lindsay Lohan ended up in jail? Or that Kim Kardashian's second marriage only lasted 72 days? Any, yet, headlines are filled with words like shocker, unbelievable, breaking news. The only thing breaking about these stories is that anyone waited until after it happened to write about it.

Take the teacher's strike, for instance. Were any of us - teachers, parents, students, general public and even teacher haters - surprised that teachers took a settlement? Of course not! No matter what we say to kids, the fact of the matter is that all of us can only take being beaten down for so long. So, despite our best efforts, it was totally inevitable that the teacher strike ended at the end of the school year. So why am I surprised? Is it because part of me wishes that not everything politically related be a foregone conclusion? Probably.

Politicians and teachers are a funny mix. It is like the lopsided friendship where one is a giver and the other a taker... and yet, at the end of the day, the taker is the one pointing her finger screaming "YOU are a bad friend" and the giver is left thinking, "Wow... did not see that coming" when, let's face it, it was inevitable.

Politicians have placed more and more demands on teachers while removing financial resources and support to help them get the job done. Not surprisingly, after a while of trying to just go with the flow and avoid any sort of altercation, teachers are going to say "Hey, wait a minute. This is inequitable and unreasonable. And sort of a little insane." And what happens in the end? The inevitable. The taking politicians point their fingers yelling "Greedy! Greedy! Greedy!" all the while bypassing their own huge raises and padded expense accounts.

So, when news agencies begin to report that teachers are leaving the profession before retirement, moving to other provinces or that teacher education programs see less graduates applying for positions within BC, why feign surprise? It is a foregone conclusion. Doesn't it come down to what we all learned in elementary school? Relationships are give AND take not take, take, take and then be pissed off when the other party asks for a little something in return or just walks away?

On a personal note about the inevitability of things, can I really say that I am surprised that after months of publicly giving thanks for the paramedic that, once there has been a lapse, he reminds me of how many days it has been? To which I would reply: on that specific day, I was very thankful that my new husband did not trip over the full garbage sitting in the kitchen waiting to be taken out as he continuously walked around it. And, I would imagine, for him that response was inevitable. ;)

55 Years of Humourous Perspective

It is funny how we can go years without seeing our family and, yet, when we get together we are still that: family. Never strangers; always family. I don't really know why we end up going so long without seeing people who mean so much to us; it just ends up happening.

As I spent yesterday laughing and dining over a six hour luncheon with my great aunt and uncle, I am reminded of how much family traits permeate into who we are - regardless of distance or time. Someone once said to me that when they look at the kidlet, all they see is his dad but once he makes faces, gesture and opens his mouth, it's all me. I saw this yesterday in my great uncle who I have adored all my life; he is an 80 year old version of my dad from his gestures to his sharp, dry wit.

After my great aunt chastised us for a two year absenteeism ending with "glad you didn't die or, worse, hate us," the conversation turned to marriage with their celebrating 55 years. I was so in awe of this couple who still held hands at the table while talking about how they met in the Yukon, funny stories about the patience needed to be a couple and what they have learned from each other and their incredible family. It was so heartwarming to watch an 80 year old couple tease and look at each other so lovingly.

Inevitably, the conversation came to my recent nuptials. Never one to beat around the bush, my great aunt asked what "the husband" was like. Before I could answer, my parents, aunt and uncle all chimed in that he is a great guy, so handsome (my aunt!) and they were all so happy. My mother added that his family is wonderful; his mother a "real hoot" not unlike my great aunt. It was hard not to be weepy when my uncle proclaimed, "She sure got it right this time." It seems I am not the only one relieved that I found my prince.

As I tackled painting the hallways and stairwells today, I believe that the paramedic - on his split shift - drew upon the patience needed for a successful marriage as I whined about not being able to reach the high spots and leaving unpainted chunks for him. :) How, exactly, is a short person expected to paint a high ceilinged stairwell?

What am I thankful for today? That I married a tall prince who is just as an impatient and terrible painter as me and that we have lots of photos to put up on the walls. :)

Maybe Just a Taste of the Kool Aid

I forgot to go to church today. Actually, truth be told, I did not realize it was Sunday - courtesy of summer vacation and a husband with an irregular work schedule. Do I actually go to church? Nope.

When paramedic arrived home and I said "I forgot to go to church today..." there was an apprehensive pause on his end. I am sure that there was a moment when he panicked and wondered if I had hidden some sort of religious fervour until after the wedding ceremony. Seeing the look on his face, I laughed and told him to relax, that I wasn't drinking the Kool Aid... I was just thinking about tasting it.

In the last few years, I have really begun to be fascinated by people and their faith in organized religion. They seem to have a great sense of overall peace and a real sense of community. Studies show people who belong to an organized religion generally lead happier, more satisfied lives. Who wouldn't want that? And what, exactly, is the secret? However, I am skeptical enough to realize that there are probably just as many studies which show that religious faith is detrimental to your overall wellbeing.

When I think about all the people I know who have experienced challenges or tragedies in their lives, it is the ones who belong to a religious community who appear to genuinely heal and find peace with whatever they have encountered. Having recently attended the Christian funeral for a woman not much older than me, it was quite literally breathtaking to hear this woman tell her family (through video) that she was at peace with her death.

I follow the blog of the sister of my teacher friend whose child was born sick and died at 18 months. Rather than focus on her own grief and loss, she speaks about the gift of life, family and faith. The amount of admiration I have for this woman I have never met is monumental. It is her faith in God that I am curious about because, should anyone ever doubt the existence of a fair and just God and everlasting life, it would be this woman.

Am I in search of peace? Not really. For the most part, I have found it. I don't really want for anything. Well, maybe ice cream. I have an amazing husband who adores me, a fantastic, healthy & happy child, wonderful family & friends, a home and a job I love. So I don't really know what drives this curiosity. It's kind of like an itch that I just need to scratch...

I joke with my family that when I am on my deathbed, I will have a priest, a preacher, a rabbi, a Buddhist monk, an imam and basically every other sort of religious cleric just to cover my bases because, at the end of the day, we don't really know what will happen once we die. If I admit it to myself, part of me hopes that I can avoid all of this by tasting the Kool Aid and liking it... now just to remember next Sunday that I do have an itch.

If It's a Bromance, Does That Make You Brovers?

Tonight, I realized I am witness to a full-on bromance. As we talked about our plans for our housewarming wedding reception, I watched my hubby and my surrogate brother discuss in an almost giddy fashion the beer that they will make. How kind I was to marry the paramedic so as to provide these two with their first beer keg making opportunity. Apparently, it takes longer to weigh all your beer making options than it does to plan a three layer beach themed wedding cake. Who knew!?!

On our wedding day, the paramedic and I did not dance. In fact, we have never danced. So I wonder what it means that tonight, for the second time, the paramedic shook his moneymaker with my surrogate brother? But who can be mad when you are witness to two white guys tummy bumping to dance music?

Is my nose out of joint? Well, for the number of times that I whine "you were my friend first" you might be inclined to think so but I am not. Honestly, I am not. I am thankful. The bromance makes the paramedic happy and makes me laugh. It does make me wonder: are they brovers? Not that there is nothing wrong with that.

I am also thankful that a funny little kid who, for the longest time, would only speak to me at the cabin actually jumped into my arms tonight to give me a good-bye hug. Jumped! We are truly thankful for this family who have embraced us as a couple and who only ever ask for our friendship in return. To know that we are unique and interesting to another couple is almost as special as finding the one person who truly gets you. Cheers to the elusive gift of couple love... in a non swinger way.

Having someone offer to make your wedding cake is an incredibly generous and meaningful gift. How truly lucky we are.

As I write this, with the paramedic snoring beside me, I feel nothing but love. Gushy, cheesy, yell it from the mountain tops love... and I give thanks for that every single second of every single day... even when the beer induced snoring is super duper loud.

Team Us Happily Ever After

Sometimes I wonder if I am becoming a traditionalist or maybe I was always a closet one. I mean, I am so excited to be Mrs. Paramedic that I am tempted to call everyone in my address book just so I can say, "Hi there, it's Mrs. Paramedic calling." At this moment in time, I don't even care how cheesy that is.

When I was younger, I thought that a woman taking her husband's last name was just sexist inequality making us seem like possessions. Now, I view it as joining a truly great team. Meeting the paramedic changed my thinking and I found that I was actually excited to take my husband's name. Heck, I changed my Facebook name a week in advance. The shared last name identifies us as Team Us.

But even though I have a new team name, I am equally blessed to remain an alumni player for my "maiden" team. And I am so incredibly thankful that my maiden team coaches are so supportive and excited for my new team as well. How lucky I am.

When we arrived home, my five year old "nephew" asked me why we were wearing rings. I told him that when we got married, we became a team and the matching rings are like our jerseys. It was certainly simpler and made just as much sense as repeating what was said during our ceremony: The rings are a symbol of your marriage. They are symbolic of the fact that you have this day pledged yourselves to marriage, and as the ring is a perfect circle without end, it is the wish and hope of all that your marriage will be as perfect and without end. They will always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect, and a public showing of your commitment to each other.

Walking around the happiest place on earth with my family, it was so wonderful to see my parents and my inlaws (both couples being married more than forty years) walking around holding hands. Watching these two couples, it is easy to see that they are still in their Happily Ever After. As we walked around hand in hand the paramedic joked about me overcoming my aversion to public displays of affection. In the happiest place on earth, with my very own prince, I was just so thrilled to start our life together as Team Us Happily Ever After.

California Bride

I love California. I really believe I am a California girl born in the wrong region. After spending the day lounging poolside at the home of my San Diego family and watching the sun go down from my bayfront hotel room, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Peace. How I adore feeling this way.

I am so incredibly thankful to have found the person I am meant to be with, the one who brings me peace. I so look forward to standing next to him tomorrow on the beach with the kidlet and devoting myself to him for eternity. 

People have commented about how calm I am about everything and I can only shrug and tell them I feel at complete peace. Surely they have to be tired of hearing it by now. But there is really no other way to really describe it. Elated. Content. Complete peace.

Having spent the last few days with the new additions to my family, I feel so grateful that this incredible person who has picked me out of the billions to choose from also has such a wonderful, welcoming family too. To have people welcome me and my child  into their family without reservation is a magical gift.

Tonight, as I have a few hours of solitude, I am so thankful to be so blessed.

And for the free wifi so I can type this out on my phone. :)

Live for Today & for Your Family

Today was, above all else, a reminder that nothing is more important than your family and that really we should just live for today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? And the past is over and done with and nothing is going to change that.

As I sat with my son at a memorial today for his friend's mother who was just four years older than me, I thought about all that I have to be thankful for. While this young girl spent the morning at the cemetery saying goodbye to her mother, I spent that time getting pedicures with my guys and my mother as we get ready for our family trip. So frivolous yet the things that memories are made of; memories of things just like this that this family shared today. As I watched the tears fall down my son's cheeks as he listened to his friend speak so eloquently and courageously about her mother, I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Grief and gratitude sometimes need to go hand in hand for us to truly appreciate all that we have.

As the day went on, I couldn't help but think about the grief stricken husband and his focus on the 23 years he spent with this woman rather than the 23 or more he has been robbed of. How lucky he is to have had 23 years of true love. What a wonderful gift and how thankful he must be for that. I am sure, if he was asked, he would not trade those 23 years for anything.

Memorials always make me think about my own mortality... I would imagine it is the same for most people. I always ask myself: If it all ended tomorrow, would I be at peace? As I watched this woman's final words to her family and friends reassuring them she was at peace, I imagine that she was grateful for the life that she had. She certainly seemed at peace and how grateful she must have been for that.

As I sit here writing this in a home full of love, laughter and respect, having spent the evening preparing for our trip, I know that - should it all end tomorrow - I, too, have found my peace and I am so eternally grateful for that... and the hair cut that the kidlet got today... and the paramedic accompanying the kidlet on his first pedicure.

As for living for today, as I had hummed and hawed about packing something that might not be the best idea for someone my age, I threw it in anyways. What the hell. Live for today.

Cross Border Shopping: Fiscal Responsibility or Patriotic Infidelity?

So, once again in our house, the topic of crossing the border to shop has come up. Grocery shopping, to be exact. For some reason, the household opposition does not seem to take issue with ordering items online and crossing the border to pick it up (ahem... someone has five new pairs of shoes he would not otherwise find in his size). Nor does it seem problematic to have people bring us things when they come to visit.

As our stockpile of items that our Oregon and Washington visitors have brought us in the last couple of months dwindles, I am tempted to raid the shelves of Trader Joe's and use my Costco card in Bellingham. This is met with great resistance from an otherwise extremely laid back individual. And, I mean, great resistance.

The discussion continued the other night and I was outnumbered two to one by the paramedic and my cousin (um... hello? a little family  loyalty would be nice). Both believe that it is important to support our local retailers and to keep our local economy going. While I agree with this - in principle - I am conflicted as a middle income earner who tries to make my dollar stretch. My new favourite beverage - peppermint tea - is over $2 per box cheaper at Trader Joe's than at my local big box store. My tummy friendly coffee is less than half the price. The list is pretty much endless. A two dollar or more difference on several items adds up significantly - even when calculating the cost of mileage to travel there.

And what I would like to know is why oh why is there such a price difference on the exact same items? The paramedic likes to talk about "pink sludge" but I am pretty sure that there is no "pink sludge" in my peppermint tea... and huge chunks of Tillamook cheddar cheese or Monterey pepper jack cheese do not seem to upset the paramedic's stomach so I doubt there is any "pink sludge" there either.

Incidentally, as I was discussing this topic this morning with my friend - and talking about my experience car shopping with the paramedic - she wondered out loud why someone so adamant about not buying American is holding tight to his American brand preference? To which I responded... hhmmmm... good point.

But to return to the current dilemma... Where are my loyalties supposed to lie? With my local economy or my household budget? Am I really a bad Canadian if I am trying to find ways to better provide for my family?

Yippee Skippee for Change

Back at school today and looking forward to the changes for the upcoming school year. So, today, I am thankful for change. The great Ross Gellar said "No one likes change except for a wet baby." I do not think that we all skip gleefully towards change but sometimes change is a good thing. All the change in my life has been an absolute blessing. If you could see me right now you would see me jumping up and down, clapping my hands and giggling at the change that is to come...

So, to keep it brief: I am thankful for a paramedic who loves me, hot showers, catching up with old friends, peppermint tea, sane people, California vacations and blonde highlights.

And I promise to make the coffee tomorrow... ;)

Can It Get Any More Shameful?

Community Living BC, which provides services to the developmentally disabled, closed group homes and cut back services. Last fall, it was announced that the "bonus structure" for executives was
"abolished." The bonus structure was for between five to 10% of their salaries - totalling about $300,000. At the time, the Liberal Social Development minister stated: "That is up to the board to decide how they compensate staff at CLBC. But what they will do is they will go away and look at a new system of compensation that doesn't include a bonus-type structure." Interpretation: they can still have the money; they just can't say it was a bonus.

Fast forward to this spring and surprise! surprise! there are no more bonuses but the people scheduled to get a 5% bonus are now getting a 4.99% raise and those in line for a 10% bonus are seeing their salaries go up 9.66%. Thankfully, we cannot be outraged by this because, as our illustrious premier explained, these are not bonuses but "holdbacks." As she explains, after much sputtering and humming and hawing "What used to happen before is that they had their base pay -- some of it was held back until they met specific targets."

Wow. So now they don't have to earn their bonus - we just hand it to them. While I am confident that the premier does not have the sense to be ashamed of not only these actions but her ludicrous explanation, I certainly hope that Stephanie Cadieux does. And what about the people receiving these bonuses? How can they accept this money knowing that they are not meeting the needs of the people who it is their job to service? Greed. Greed. Greed. That must make all those in need of CLBC services who are not receiving them feel much better.

Incidentally, CLBC reports that it costs about $48 800 per year*, on average, to provide supports and services per adult per year. Surely, the $300 000 would be put to better use providing support for six additional individuals.

Perhaps our premier could spend less time prepping for media coverage and her overpaid PR consultant could teach her the meaning of "priority" and "decency."

*http://communitylivingaction.org/facts/funding/

Scottish voices, sedatives and home health care pros

Today I give thanks for the  male Scottish nurse who has now woken me up twice from sedation in the last four months. There is something nice about waking up in a fog and feeling pretty certain that your long deceased Scottish grandfather is whispering in your ear.

I am also thankful for whoever invented sedation. I cannot even imagine these procedures without them.

Finally, as always,  I am thankful for my personal paramedic who stayed home to take care  of me. If only emptying the dishwasher was part of his training...

Celebrating All The Special Days...

It was one year ago yesterday that the paramedic and I had our first official date. It was also the first and last time he ate tofu (at least that is what he thinks)... but that part we did not celebrate.
In addition to being thankful for my dad as part of the Hallmark holiday of Father's Day, yesterday's giving thanks was a total no brainer. I am so thankful that I went on that date last year despite having the world's worst headache and an incredible amount of trepidation... what a wonderful gift that one decision brought into my life. Thank you to the wonderful ladies in my life who nudged me along the way.

As we celebrated our life as a couple - and most importantly our friendship - the paramedic made an offhand remark that next year we will be able to bypass this anniversary to celebrate a different one. Ummmm (insert sound of screeching brakes)... wait just a minute. Why celebrate just one special day when there are many more? The first meeting is the starting off point to all those special ones so I believe it needs to be celebrated just as much as the wedding anniversary... because without it, there would be nothing else. That Friday evening last June was the "big bang" (if you will) for all of the incredible things that I give thanks for every day. And I intend to celebrate that every year.

My brother joked to the paramedic that he needed to get used to celebrating everything... including the first time we ate rice together, the first time we sneezed in unison, blah blah blah... and everyone laughed. I laughed too but it got me thinking. Why not celebrate all those wonderful firsts? Our memories are so much a part of what makes us who we are... celebrating all the silly special days helps remind us how truly lucky we are for all that we have. And, as he patrols the house, picking up all my flip flops scattered in every room and organizing the counter clutter, I hope he will always reminder and celebrate that special day when he first collected all my shoes, returned them to the closet and figured out how many pairs there actually are :).

So yesterday, like everyday, I ended it by saying "Thank you for choosing me" out of the millions to choose from.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu

Never, in all my life, have I known such strength and courage. I am so incredibly excited for what lies ahead for us as a couple and as a family. I cannot wait to begin each day with you.

Why Hello There, Sunshine...

As I sat outside enjoying the sun and flipping through the latest issue of People Style Watch, I gave thanks for the warmth of this elusive friend. After what seemed like a never ending winter - even yesterday I was wearing knee high boots and a cashmere blend sweater - I am so excited for the summer and all the wonderful things that will come with it.

I'm also thankful for the smile and laughter on the paramedic's face as he saw my lobster-esque chest... and his friendly reminder that the goal is golden not scorched. Probably time for a Groupon for a spray tan.

As our trip is fast approaching, I am also grateful - after the debacle with my first choice - that I have fianlly narrowed down the all important dress to three very different contenders. Now just to choose... or maybe keep all three and just have several ceremonies throughout the summer. :) I keep thinking of my sparkly friend who would wash her dishes in her wedding dress and think how wonderful it would be to have three different outfits for cooking dinner. No dress for dishes since that ain't my job... and I am super duper thankful for that.

And not to beg but... please, sunshine, stick around all weekend... you, me and the paramedic will have so much fun. Promise!

My sparkly friend, education and hilarious "grammar" videos

Sometimes it's the people who find the seats in the middle of our bus who get comfortable and stay for a long journey. I am grateful for those who choose to stay on my bus and enjoy our travels together. On Facebook today, one such friend posted something about getting her sparkle back. It's not like she is some sort of Stella who needed to get her groove back, she just felt like she lost her "sparkle." What I admire about my friend is that she is, to me, always sparkly. No matter what life throws at her, she can always throw her head back and laugh her hearty "oh my god" laugh. I have never met anyone who is more self aware and even when she makes some really bad choices - and there have been some doozies ;) - she is the first one to admit it. I give thanks for her today and every day and really enjoy the times when she moves to the front of my bus before making her way back to her comfortable seat in the middle. I am also so grateful that she laughed out loud today when I referred to myself as her "moral" friend (old joke) and reminded me of my own doozies of bad decisions as well. You, my sparkly friend, always govern yourself accordingly.

I also think I would be remiss if I did not give thanks for my education. As my district handed out heavy pink slips this year and drew the lay off line really high, my education saved me from joining the ranks of the unemployed. I am grateful that I took a chance a few years ago and took a layoff from my previous district. Had I not done that, I never would have ended up in a protected position which I only got, in the first place, because of my specialty education.

And, sorry guys, but I also have to come out and say that people mixing up "your" and "you're" drives me crazy. I know I have developed a social sieve because I no longer point it out when people mix them up... but it is so annoying. I am so happy to have found this video to share... it's just too bad that it is so profanity laced that I can not use it in the classroom. The next time you are typing please remember some of the lyrics and stop making these idiotic mistakes. Puh-lease!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=32p8d6OudgU

Thankful that I'm not "that" guy...

It's amazing what some people just can't let go of... I admit it took me a long time to just chalk negative experiences up to all part of the journey and to focus on the here and now. A little over a year ago, I received a rather amusing letter (although I think the intention was to threaten and cause fear) advising me that I needed to govern myself accordingly. Every now and then, I think about this ridiculous "advice" and its source. It never fails to make me laugh. I am pretty sure I govern myself accordingly but still wonder to whose standards I was expected to hold myself to. I generally hold myself to my own and it seems to work pretty well.

I recently read one of those annoying photo things that people share on Facebook which read something like "Why do we keep people in our lives who have already left?" This is hilarious considering that a lot of our "friends" on Facebook are not people who are actively a part of our lives. But it also makes me think about those people whose lives we have left who just cannot let go.

A couple of weeks ago, a negative comment showed up on one of my posts calling me a whiner and a lazy loser. So weird. I see absolutely no point in someone making a comment like this. To hurt me? It's a cowardly comment made by someone who did not identify themselves. Certainly it was from someone who I have chosen to exclude from my life; an anonymous comment on a blog won't change that. I deleted the comment.

Another nasty one - from a blog post nearly nine months ago - showed up yesterday. A comment made in the middle of the work day. I wonder if I should feel flattered that I had such an impact on someone's life that they are reading through old blog posts in the middle of a work day. I am not flattered - just sad. I feel sad for this person that they aren't able to figure out that you shouldn't keep people in your life who have already left.

So, anonymous commentator, please remember that while you are thinking of nasty things to say, I am so thankful for all the wonderful people, experiences and things in my life today and tomorrow that I just want to share it with whoever is willing to read it. Sorry you can't say the same.

Tears & Sadness

On a day where my child spent Mother's Day with another woman and quite possibly the meanest man to ever live, I am hard pressed to find something amusing to be thankful for.

I am thankful for tears and how sometimes they are the only way to express just how sad you feel. When you can't possibly find the words to express yourself, they seem to say it all.

At the end of today, just like the end of every day, I am so incredibly thankful that I no longer live with a man who is the embodiment of evil. I am grateful that I am not a woman who is so insecure and weak in spirit that I fail to see what is wrong with a man who tells a woman she deserves a miscarriage and who makes sure that a child does not spend Mother's Day with his own mother...

Because, today, I realize that it is okay to be sad and I am thankful for that. And I am so incredibly grateful to know that it will pass quickly because having known true evil makes me appreciate the goodness and lightness that has become a part of my daily life.

Smurf Bath Rings & Punctuation

Before I begin my evening, a quick note of thanks for things that made me happy today.

I am so thankful that I found a purple Smurfette shirt for under $15. I love that the Smurfs are French and am seriously considering basing my entire French 8 curriculum on them. Surely the 40 kids (plus 5 special needs students who will be in the class but not actually taking the course) I will have in each section next year will love it.

I give thanks for the relaxing powers of a bubble bath. Yippee for a house with a deep bath tub.

And thank you to the paramedic for letting me wear my wedding ring around the house... and not laughing at me... well, to my face anyway.

Finally, I am thankful for punctuation because without it it would look like I was talking bath rings in the shape of Smurfs. Good punctuation is an important skill but probably something that the 45 plus kids in my Language Arts 8 class can do without - I mean, we have spell & grammar check, write?

Foot Rubs, Fancy Feet and Family Time

Yay! and Thanks! to anyone who rubs my feet - whether that be the funny little lady who does my pedicures or the guy who loves me so much he (seemingly) is not bothered by my smelly feet.

I am thankful today for foot rubs and fancy feet after a great afternoon of family time with my mum and aunt. So much fun to wedding and trip plan over pedicures and lunch... and I love the little coincidences in life... like talking about hop on/hop off tours of cities and then not even two days later discovering a Groupon offer for one! Woohoo! A little mini holiday in my own hometown.

I also end the day giving thanks for family time... pedicures and lunch, an afternoon visit and cuddling on the couch to watch, boo and cheer as part of our Survivor night and ending the evening watching the second best Modern Family in the world take their own hilarious trip to the Happiest Place on Earth... what a wonderful way to end another sunny day.

And, thank you, my beautiful female canine companion for recovering from your own 80 year old man stomach episodes in the middle of the night four nights in a row. I am sure the only one more relieved than me that your multiple trips outside and taking short naps on the back deck in the middle of the night are finally over is you! Be well, my beautiful girl or we will be forced to share my fancy new peppermint mixture pills.

Heaven Help Me... Despite Everything, I Love Him

Anyone who knows our family knows that I frequently whine and complain that I need rescued from my rescue dog. Never before have I had such a needy, stubborn, downright disobedient and permanent puppy for a canine companion. I was actually shocked the other day to realize that he is now five years old... and I am still waiting for the adult dog behaviour to kick in. Such a change from my beautiful old soul canine companion.

Despite my best efforts to "give" him to the paramedic, regift him to my parents or trade him for a passport eating, jumps so high she licks my sunglasses puppy... it seems he and I are stuck with each other.

As I tried to have a relaxing bubble bath yesterday but was thwarted from all the canine whining and crying on the other side of the door, it dawned on me that despite everything I love him. Who else in our lives loves us so much that our being on the other side of a closed door is so traumatic that it elicits tears of sadness? Who else will continue to love us despite being called "retard" or worse? Who else will cuddle with us when we are sad despite being routinely told to "take a hike" or shoved away with expletives? Who else will lick our smelly feet and gaze upon us adoringly?

In a world where our friends can punish us for speaking the truth and drop us at the drop of a hat, how can I not be thankful to have the unconditional love of my canine Mama's boy?

So today, even though as I write this I can hear him from drinking out of the toilet before heading upstairs to lie on my freshly laundered bed, I am thankful for my Mama's boy dog.

And, as an aside, I am also grateful that the paramedic continues to retrieve the dog when he makes his grand getaways... and I am also thankful that I have someone in my life who is so incredibly special that my canine Mama's boy now cries when he lives for work... in the afternoon... the mornings are too early for the dog to apparently care.

I did it all by myself!

Today, it seems, I graduated to big girl status... going for another round of blood tests all by myself and NOT passing out. I am thankful that, although my 80 year old man stomach continues to cause me grief and I am headed to another round of testing with a new specialist, I seem to be developing some sort of stamina for this sort of thing... I just wonder what will keep the paramedic entertained now.
I am also thankful that the rain held off today allowing me to go for a long awaited walk with my puppies on the dyke. Yesterday, after watching my beloved dog lie down on the grass in the park after a walk up the hill, I was so relieved to see her (sort of) run free on the path. I think I need to remind myself that the only one who has her with one foot in the grave is me... just because she is nine doesn't mean she is about to keel over and die. But I also think that she needs to appreciate the fact that because I do seem to worry about her age, she now gets specially made homemade chicken stew and evenings in front of the fire... which will probably expedite her departure from this world but at least she will be happy.

And, my gratitude to my friend who allows me to snoop her online dating account and say things like "we like him for you" and to go with it. Boy! do I love it when people take my "advice." And this process helps me appreciate that my journey to find love has had a happy ending... even if that someone is rather sniffly and whiny today.

Grandmas on Kardashian Sex, Farewell Feta and Kids who Eat

Thank you to people who post stupid stuff on the Internet. Sometimes it is truly funny. I don't even care if it is staged; Jewish grandmas talking about sex is always going to be funny.

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/05/grandma-kim-kardashian-sex-tape

I am also thankful to my 80 year old man stomach; that bastard only knocked me out for 2 days this time. Okay! Okay! Okay! I get it. Feta is not my friend - from any source. I wonder if it would be too weird to have a memorial service for cheese. I could invite my former friends milk and ice cream.

My gratitude to friends with kids who happily eat all my cooking. Such a refreshing change from my anoerxic in training kidlet who starts each meal with: "Do I have to eat this?" and who believes that flushing a granola bar down the toilet won't cause plumbing issues. Thank you, in advance, to the counsellor who will help him get over his picky eating habits and help him come to terms with being the first person in Canada in about 150 years to get scurvy.

And, finally, because I have been neglectful in giving public thanks to the paramedic, my deep gratitude to have someone in my life who will stand up for us and go a couple rounds with the grouchy neighbourhood bully, charm the pants off (not literally, thank God) the neighbourhood moms and always, always ensure that my needs are being met.

Agedashi Tofu or Dirty Sponge? And the End of the Love Affair

Today I am thankful that the package of deep fried tofu that I purchased at the store today was only $2 because it tasted terrible. Absolutely terrible. I love agedashi tofu from the Japanese restaurant and this was nowhere close. I think my dirty sponge has the same texture and probably would have more flavour. And I am thankful that the kidlet and the paramedic were not home because I am pretty sure that I would never have heard the end of it... and that they would have opted for moldy buns.

I am also going to backtrack a week or so to give thanks... by some miracle of miracles my conservative little town ousted the provincial Liberal party in my riding and voted in NDP in our by-election. This leads me to believe that anything is possible... and makes me worry significantly less about the "new" BC Education Act and how my professional organization went from being the BC College of Teachers to being the Teacher Regulation Branch... I believe Dolores Umbridge is in charge... at least until the next election.

I am also grateful today that the paramedic yelled at the dog as he bolted out the door... makes me feel better to know that even he - the most patient person I have ever met - has a limit to how much "specialness" he can take. Their love affair might be ending...

Just Dance!

Today I am grateful for the person who created the Just Dance game for Kinect... and an empty house so that there were no witnesses. I am also thankful that I did not trip over the dog who insisted on lying right at my feet the entire time... and her eternal optimism that perhaps the dancing fool just might rub her belly.

I am also thankful that I stumbled across a great site http://jennifersway.org/ by Jennifer Esposito and her tales about her struggles with her 80 year old man stomach & a shoulder shrugging medical community... and I am only mildly creeped out by the fact that Blue Bloods was on the television when I found it. While I read and cried over her tales of one of "her troops" and the lessons she learned from her faithful companion, I was glad to be able to reach out and rub that belly of my companion... canine not paramedic.

Around the House...

The good thing about my resolution to find something new to give thanks for everyday is that it keeps me mentally occupied when stuck in the house. Today was day two of a sick kid on the couch and a dog who refused to get off the bed...

I am thankful that even doing only one or two loads of laundry makes me feel productive. Laundry is really such a lightweight chore but it somehow always make me feel like I have accomplished something. So, yes, I am thankful for laundry! And that the chocolate did finally come out of my new white skirt.

Watching her spring to life from a dead sleep at the sound of the sugar snap pea bag being opened, I am so grateful for my wonderfully unique old soul dog who has been a part of our family for nearly seven years. At nine, she makes me smile everyday. I am also thankful that she gets up early in the morning to see the paramedic off to work... and let's me sleep right through it.

I give thanks for Arrowroot cookies; so delicious and kind to my 80 year old man stomach.

I am thankful that the lazy dog only cried periodically after I locked him out of our room in an effort to keep him off the freshly laundered sheets. I guess I should also be thankful that he hasn't discovered the freshly painted guest room in the basement complete with queen size bed and down comforter.

Finally, I say a big thank you to my own will power and my refusal to continue watching the Real Housewives of Vancouver. They make me so ashamed to be from Vancouver and I only pray that none of those women are actually from Vancouver. Jodi might honestly be the root of all evil; and her husband is definitely a saint.

Wedding Plans!

It is just over two months until our family gets married!!!

I am thankful that we can plan a great vacation and a family wedding with my family and the new additions to my family. I am thankful that we will be able to share this time with some of the people who care about us.

As we tweak our plans to ensure that everyone has a good time, all three of us are excited as the details come together. We have changed beach locations and dates. It all seems like just the right fit for the three of us. The irony that our Slurpee loving family is getting married on 7/11 has not been lost on us. We are considering wedding photos at a 7-11, slurpees in hand. Wedding planning sites say to make the day as personal as possible so I guess we need to acknowledge what makes our family a family and just go with it... no matter how cheesy it is.

I am also thankful that the paramedic is okay with not having a fancy dinner on our wedding day and is willing to consider the idea of just diving into a big bucket of freshly steamed seafood. :) I think it would be cute to wear a plastic lobster bib over a white wedding gown. Slurpees and fresh crab... what a glorious way to end a day.

Today, as well, I am grateful that we found the paramedic shoes and a shirt.. but the hunt continues for pants that are more than "just pants."

I also give thanks that my surrogate brother is no longer experiencing "technical" difficulties and that he and his lovely wife are coming to our family wedding. Super duper yay!

Now, if I could only talk my hair stylist into coming...

Acceptance and "Just Pants"

As my friend was taking my measurements for my wedding dress a few weeks ago, I had to accept that those numbers no longer read "36-24-38" and that there is a pretty real chance that they never will again. Although, I am still convinced that the number for the boob area was definitely inflated and inaccurate.

Today, I am grateful for recognizing that the world will not come to an end if I don't stoically accept everything.

I have chosen a dress that is suitable for the body I currently occupy and, although it was not my first choice in terms of style, I know that I will feel pretty and special. It is not the perfect measurements that make us feel pretty and special but a combination of things.

Yesterday, having gotten some sun on my face, a fresh haircut and a new outfit, I felt pretty and special. I would have been perfectly content to get married in that casual outfit not because of how it looked but because of how it made me feel... well, until I sat on a chocolate Easter egg and then I didn't feel pretty... just relief that it wasn't my 80 year old man stomach playing some sick joke on me. ;)

I have spent the last couple of days teasing the paramedic because of a comment he made about the pants he bought for the wedding. I thought it was so silly that he said that he didn't really want to wear them because they were "just pants." As I sit here and think about the combination of things that come together to make me feel pretty and special, I realize that for all of us there are things that we need in order to feel pretty and special and for some of us that means pants that are more than "just pants." If he needs a bedazzled pair of pants and a pirate shirt to make him feel special and pretty on our wedding day, then that is something that I will accept... but I will have to work on the stoic part.

Moldy Buns, Crotchety Old Men & A Sparring Paramedic

Tonight, at dinner, as the kidlet asked "why is this part of my bun green?" and I watched him and the paramedic spit out the moldy buns I had inadvertently served, I was truly thankful that I live with two guys. Had I lived with females, I do not think that they would have found my lack of observational skills amusing in any way whatsoever. Oops.

I am also thankful to find that the paramedic does indeed have a righteous indignation side as the kidlet recounted the tale of the argument over road hockey with our crotchety old neighbour. Yay! For guys who fight back... with anyone else but me. And double yay! for the for sale sign in front of Grumpy Pants' place.

I should also say that I am grateful for the delightful surprise today meeting another neighbour who started off the introduction with calling out "Are you the people who just moved in with the two dogs who bark?" Crossing the street and pretty confident that you could actually see my back going up, I was ready for that fight... how nice and refreshing that the woman who sweeps the street and looks really crabby is a dog lover! Her praise over the paramedic and how busy he is cleaning and working in the yard - and how much handier he seems that her husband - leads me to believe that I should also keep my eye on her!

And my favourite part of the day... when she asked where I found him and her not noticing our giggling avoidance of answering. ;-)

Paramedics and Dog Barf

Today, I am most certainly grateful for the apparent immunity the paramedic has to dog barf... and the joy he receives from watching me gag, whine and generally freak out.

Watching your dog barf all over the dinig room carpet (WHO puts carpet in a dining room?!?!) in a house we have lived in just over a week is not the best way for a non-morning person to start off their day. It is doubly worse if you are a reactionary barfer. I mean, seriously, that stuff is so disgusting.

So, today, it seems that the paramedic should thank me for the comedy routine that is me dealing with dog barf because it seems to leave him giggling all day long.

I am just thankful that he cleaned it all up... but I could do without the analysis of the contents.

Holy I am old but at least I look younger than these ho's...

I love my birthday. I just don't like the getting older part. I am not actually sure how I got this old... I mean I am so old that I have a son who came home from school with deoderant after the puberty talk. Ack!
But here is what I am thankful for... I am thankful that, although I am older, I am no longer my scary age. Lots of stuff happened that was very good but also sorta bad... I am just glad that that scary age is over.

I am thankful for the guy at the liquor store who ID'd me last week... and I think he was genuinely unsure if I was over 30. I mean, he did get sorta huffy when I asked him if he was serious.

And, as I become obsessed with how old I am compared to celebrities... and sometimes want to faint when I realize I am older... I am very thankful that I DEFINITELY look younger than these ho's who are actually born later than me...

Fergie, Chelsea Handler and Kate Gosselin are all allegedly born in 1975. Laaaaadies... looking rough!

Coco Austin allegedly born in 1979. I just about passed out at this one!

And, Lil Kim... four months AFTER me?!?! No way.

14 months to go... fingers crossed for less

Christy the vindictive clown celebrated one year as the dictator of our province today. No wonder my 80 year old man was giving me grief today. Today as I watch the media circus around this photo op obssessed nightmare on the nightly news, I am thankful that we have less than 14 months of her left.

Neck Rubs... Ain't Nothing Funny 'Bout Those

My quick gratitude for today: Oh how I am thankful for neck and shoulder rubs and the wonderful guy who gives them.

If Dictator Clark got one once in while maybe she would not be so hell bent on screwing the teachers.

Good night all!

Yay! For Technology, Guilt and Restraint

Tonight I am thankful for technology. It is such a blessing to be able to effortlessly communicate with people so far away. 

It was great to visit with the future in laws who live four provinces away via Skype to plan our family vacation this summer. And it is so wonderful to be able to send links to let them see our favourite attractions and places to eat. It just helps so much to make the trip come alive and the planning that much more fun!

Surprisingly (and totally "inpredictable"), yesterday's blog was just the kick in the pants that my life long buddy needed to get in touch - albeit shortly - just to let me know I am not forgotten and that he still loves me. A quick text message - so yay! for technology... and a little bit of guilt.

I am also thankful that I love the paramedic so much that I am able to practice some self restraint. As I began the arduous task of packing our stuff up for the move, from his perch on the couch, the paramedic today casually recalled that his union pays for a move once every three years. That's right! With planning and prior approval, our move would have been taken care of from start to finish by a capable moving company... and we'd have been more popular with our family and friends.

On another note: why are teacher's deemed spoiled by the general public? No one pays for our moves?!?!? And, I'm sure for all the teacher bashers out there, paramedics are just glorified tax drivers... ;-).

Support, Mommy Mix, Late Night Banter...

This week has been a total bummer and, I admit, I've been hard pressed to find something new to give thanks for on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong: I've been thankful for many things each day but my goal was to find something new to be thankful for everyday. This week I fell short but I am thankful that this week is over and that we have sprung forward bringing us just that much closer to a new season.

I am thankful that tonight's notes of gratitude is a no brainer. Having had a bummer week, I am so grateful for the friends in my life who step in to give a hand - no hesitation. The kidlet and I are so extremely lucky to have landed in a community where we are surrounded by love and support. I am so appreciative that when I stumble and drop the ball, there are many hands available to help me finish the play. Today was a day where I am especially grateful for these people.

I am also grateful for care packages that arrive from out of province carrying delicious starchy "Mommy Mix" treats and for the paramedic for just smiling and kissing my forehead when I apologize for the kidlet and I polishing off an entire bag while he is at work.

Over twenty years ago, one of my bestest friends in the whole world kept this night owl company on nights where sleep evaded me... until he met a girl. Our late night companionship resumed a few years later... until he met a girl. And it repeated itself again in our late twenties.... and again earlier this year. Although he now lives thousands of kilometres away, our late night chatter was enabled through messaging. As I resumed my night owl ways and realized that there was little to keep me occupied late into a school night, I was grateful for the banter... until he met a girl. So, tonight, I am thankful for consistency. It's nice to know the more things change, the more they stay the same. :)

... and I am thankful that I have a new late night chatter friend... but she has met a guy so...

Good Ol' Trashy Television... and Flyer Savings

Tonight I give thanks for good old trashy television. Yes, I am educated. Yes, I am fairly intelligent. Yes, I am a news junkie. And, yes, I love trash TV.

I give thanks for shows like GCB - debuting tonight - that allow me to dream of living in a world of such frivolity and luxury yet maintain my feeling of moral superiority.

I also give thanks that Sarah Palin never made it anywhere near the White House because we would never be "blessed" with such good humoured, tongue in cheek fictional entertainment. We'd just have to watch it unfold at the American capital.

In other news: It has been a few days - as I have been reminded not too subtly many times - since I gave thanks for the paramedic. Today, I just feel thankful to have such an indescribably wonderful person in my life. As I try to steer away from the gushiness that I seem to have fallen victim to, I will just say: "yippee skippee" I get to be his wife in 125 days.

I am also thankful for my resourceful friend who emailed me flyers for grocery stores from across the border... maybe we might be able to make a $400 per month food budget just yet... we will up our gasoline budget but heh... no system is perfect.

Please University Drop Out Premier... Go AWAY! (and grocery shopping)

I feel a bit of pressure tonight to write a funny blog since my "bestie" today commented on how she worries sometimes about the political rantings and the sappiness that are creeping into these posts.

Political Rant: Today I am glad that I am not Christy Clark. While I agree that she will single handedly succeed in crushing public education and public school teachers (I mean, let's face it: George Abbott is just the puppet), I'm just glad that I will not have to bear that burden. Yes, I will have to carry that burden - as both a teacher and a parent - but at least I will not have to look myself in the mirror day after day wondering if I would have made more intelligent and better informed decisions if I did not drop out of university. At least I won't have to explain to my child how I single handedly - and for no good reason - ruined the learning opportunities of an entire generation. I would gladly pay her her over inflated pension to go away now. Actually, I would take a 15% pay cut to get rid of her.

Household Stuff: As I dragged a rather resistant paramedic and kidlet to the grocery store today, I tried to shop for the three us for a week as quick as possible. For two reasons: 1) they both whine about grocery shopping and 2) it usually costs me 15 to 20% more to have them with me. We got out of there for under $150. The paramedic says: "Sweet. We've spent less than $200 in two weeks so our grocery bill this month will only be about $400." Uuummm.... first of all, I forgot a bunch of stuff... second of all, it's only the first week of the month... third, I have spent over $200 THIS week. I am so thankful that he is so naive that he is genuinely in shock when I tell him that I, alone, spent over $1000 on groceries in February; never mind what he spent picking up stuff here and there. He is so cute.

Finally, I am thankful that we are moving to a much bigger place in two weeks. Our bedroom is beginning to look like an episode of Hoarders. I actually have papers "filed" in Roots shopping bags.

P.S. I am also thankful that, eventhough this blog is not very funny, my "bestie" will "like" it. ;)

Tales from the Laundry Basket

As I fold laundry at 4 o’clock in the morning and the house is silent, it gives me an opportunity to reflect on the clothes I fold and what they say about our life.

1. Since when are the kidlet’s jeans longer than mine? And how does he fit his legs in such skinny openings? Maybe I should be concerned about circulation.

2. I realize that we are two public sector employees working under an oppressive government who feels we are not entitled to a fair wage but I wish the paramedic understood that he does not need to keep a drawer full of holey T-shirts. We can afford to buy some new ones. There must be some non-holey T-shirts at Value Village. Where do the MLAs discard all their clothing?

3. For Christmas, I hope that Santa will bring the paramedic underwear that does not have gaming system logos, cartoon characters or sports teams on them. What does it really say about a man who wears Bart Simpson on his butt?

4. Although I probably look ridiculous, why is it fun to wear a guy’s T-shirt?

5. For five days of laundry, the kidlet has discarded three pairs of underwear. Yay! for progress. I at least hope he turned two of those pairs inside out but I have to remind myself that even a small victory is still a victory…

6. The paramedic is like a four year old girl who wears multiple outfits throughout the day and only wears things once. He should take a lesson from the kidlet and recycle some things once in a while. We are, after all, public sector employees who have to pay for our water consumption.

7. I know everyone has this problem and why can’t anyone figure it out? Where do all those socks go??? If I was smart, we would all wear exactly the same socks so that we would, at some point, end up with equal pairs again.

8. Is it too OCD if I hang up all my T-shirts at the new house?

9. I have begun to suspect that the laundry basket has such a fear of feeling empty that it replicates dirty clothes just as Gremlins do with water. Why is it never actually empty?

10. And, finally, I give way too much thought to such a mundane chore.

Thank you, Mme Ling

Dear Mme Ling,

I know you don’t remember me but when I was eleven and twelve, you were the “scariest” woman I knew. You were my grade six and seven teacher in the Late French Immersion program at Parkland Elementary in Coquitlam from 1985 to 1987.

As a teacher during these turbulent times in public education, where I read and hear all the horrible things that people say about our profession, I wanted to take this opportunity to give you my heart felt thanks.

It wasn’t until much later in life that I really began to appreciate the impact that you would have on my life nor would I fully understand the truly remarkable teacher that you were. I think about you frequently, with fondness, and how much you have contributed to what I have accomplished in my life.

In two years, I went from not understanding any French to being nearly fully bilingual. I have only you – and myself – to credit for this outstanding accomplishment. You guided me through my language acquisition while, at the same time, teaching me all of the required curriculum for those grade levels. Until I had to do it myself as a teacher, I did not really understand the amount of work and resourcefulness it requires to teach children – with a very limited language base – about Canadian government, world cultures, math and science (to name just a few) in a program with scant resources. And this was at a time without all the technology we have available to us today. Truly an amazing feat.

When I say that you were the scariest woman that I knew, what I mean is that, for an eleven and twelve year old girl, you were the strongest and toughest woman I had ever met. We were a challenging class and gave you a run for your money but you took it all in stride. You held me and every other student in the class accountable for our behaviour towards each other, you and even ourselves. Even when I was disrespectful and not very polite, you did not speak down to me. When I cheated on a book report and watched the movie instead, you called me on it. When I was “sick” a little too long, you called me on it. When a particularly problematic boy (who was a full head taller than you) ate raw onions and breathed in your face or taped his desk shut and flung it across the room, you acted firmly and swiftly but with dignity. And you always, always treated us with respect.

As an adult, I don’t remember you as scary but as a dedicated professional who spoke up for her convictions, taught young people to do the same and to think critically. You also taught me not to mince words: to say what you mean – even if it is not always popular. You did, indeed, help me to become the strong woman that I am today.

I will never forget the time when you showed up at my house on a weekend evening. I was terrified that you were there to speak to my parents. Imagine my relief (and shock!) when I realized you were delivering a pizza. Not until I was an adult did it occur to me that you were working two jobs to support your family or pay off student loan debt.

As a single parent, when I decided to go back to school and become a teacher, I was so grateful for the strong foundation that I had been given in your class: the work ethic and my French language. I was able to get my education degree in French language education. Without that specialization, I would not have been able to go straight into a full time teaching position bypassing years of inconsistent work as a TOC. After five years of teaching, I have had (although not total) more job security than most of my colleagues. With a child to support and student loan debt, I am so thankful. I truly believe that you played a large role in it.

I was blessed to have many wonderful teachers in my thirteen years in public education in BC. You, along with many others, helped me grow and develop and discover who I am. It wasn’t all the “stuff” that you taught me that has stayed with me but, rather, the skills to communicate, listen, learn, think, grow and develop. They say that it takes a community to raise a child. For two years, you saw me more than any other adult in my life and the part that you played has had a lasting impact on me. Because of you, I chose this profession that is sometimes difficult and discouraging but, also because of you, I have a job that I love. I am thankful that I have the same privilege to play such an important role in the lives of so many children and hope that I am even half the teacher that you are.

So, if you – like me – get discouraged by all the nasty things people say about teachers, please remember that there is at least one student out there who gives thanks for you every day. I am proud to be your colleague.