It is funny how we can go years without seeing our family and, yet, when we get together we are still that: family. Never strangers; always family. I don't really know why we end up going so long without seeing people who mean so much to us; it just ends up happening.
As I spent yesterday laughing and dining over a six hour luncheon with my great aunt and uncle, I am reminded of how much family traits permeate into who we are - regardless of distance or time. Someone once said to me that when they look at the kidlet, all they see is his dad but once he makes faces, gesture and opens his mouth, it's all me. I saw this yesterday in my great uncle who I have adored all my life; he is an 80 year old version of my dad from his gestures to his sharp, dry wit.
After my great aunt chastised us for a two year absenteeism ending with "glad you didn't die or, worse, hate us," the conversation turned to marriage with their celebrating 55 years. I was so in awe of this couple who still held hands at the table while talking about how they met in the Yukon, funny stories about the patience needed to be a couple and what they have learned from each other and their incredible family. It was so heartwarming to watch an 80 year old couple tease and look at each other so lovingly.
Inevitably, the conversation came to my recent nuptials. Never one to beat around the bush, my great aunt asked what "the husband" was like. Before I could answer, my parents, aunt and uncle all chimed in that he is a great guy, so handsome (my aunt!) and they were all so happy. My mother added that his family is wonderful; his mother a "real hoot" not unlike my great aunt. It was hard not to be weepy when my uncle proclaimed, "She sure got it right this time." It seems I am not the only one relieved that I found my prince.
As I tackled painting the hallways and stairwells today, I believe that the paramedic - on his split shift - drew upon the patience needed for a successful marriage as I whined about not being able to reach the high spots and leaving unpainted chunks for him. :) How, exactly, is a short person expected to paint a high ceilinged stairwell?
What am I thankful for today? That I married a tall prince who is just as an impatient and terrible painter as me and that we have lots of photos to put up on the walls. :)
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Maybe Just a Taste of the Kool Aid
I forgot to go to church today. Actually, truth be told, I did not realize it was Sunday - courtesy of summer vacation and a husband with an irregular work schedule. Do I actually go to church? Nope.
When paramedic arrived home and I said "I forgot to go to church today..." there was an apprehensive pause on his end. I am sure that there was a moment when he panicked and wondered if I had hidden some sort of religious fervour until after the wedding ceremony. Seeing the look on his face, I laughed and told him to relax, that I wasn't drinking the Kool Aid... I was just thinking about tasting it.
In the last few years, I have really begun to be fascinated by people and their faith in organized religion. They seem to have a great sense of overall peace and a real sense of community. Studies show people who belong to an organized religion generally lead happier, more satisfied lives. Who wouldn't want that? And what, exactly, is the secret? However, I am skeptical enough to realize that there are probably just as many studies which show that religious faith is detrimental to your overall wellbeing.
When I think about all the people I know who have experienced challenges or tragedies in their lives, it is the ones who belong to a religious community who appear to genuinely heal and find peace with whatever they have encountered. Having recently attended the Christian funeral for a woman not much older than me, it was quite literally breathtaking to hear this woman tell her family (through video) that she was at peace with her death.
I follow the blog of the sister of my teacher friend whose child was born sick and died at 18 months. Rather than focus on her own grief and loss, she speaks about the gift of life, family and faith. The amount of admiration I have for this woman I have never met is monumental. It is her faith in God that I am curious about because, should anyone ever doubt the existence of a fair and just God and everlasting life, it would be this woman.
Am I in search of peace? Not really. For the most part, I have found it. I don't really want for anything. Well, maybe ice cream. I have an amazing husband who adores me, a fantastic, healthy & happy child, wonderful family & friends, a home and a job I love. So I don't really know what drives this curiosity. It's kind of like an itch that I just need to scratch...
I joke with my family that when I am on my deathbed, I will have a priest, a preacher, a rabbi, a Buddhist monk, an imam and basically every other sort of religious cleric just to cover my bases because, at the end of the day, we don't really know what will happen once we die. If I admit it to myself, part of me hopes that I can avoid all of this by tasting the Kool Aid and liking it... now just to remember next Sunday that I do have an itch.
When paramedic arrived home and I said "I forgot to go to church today..." there was an apprehensive pause on his end. I am sure that there was a moment when he panicked and wondered if I had hidden some sort of religious fervour until after the wedding ceremony. Seeing the look on his face, I laughed and told him to relax, that I wasn't drinking the Kool Aid... I was just thinking about tasting it.
In the last few years, I have really begun to be fascinated by people and their faith in organized religion. They seem to have a great sense of overall peace and a real sense of community. Studies show people who belong to an organized religion generally lead happier, more satisfied lives. Who wouldn't want that? And what, exactly, is the secret? However, I am skeptical enough to realize that there are probably just as many studies which show that religious faith is detrimental to your overall wellbeing.
When I think about all the people I know who have experienced challenges or tragedies in their lives, it is the ones who belong to a religious community who appear to genuinely heal and find peace with whatever they have encountered. Having recently attended the Christian funeral for a woman not much older than me, it was quite literally breathtaking to hear this woman tell her family (through video) that she was at peace with her death.
I follow the blog of the sister of my teacher friend whose child was born sick and died at 18 months. Rather than focus on her own grief and loss, she speaks about the gift of life, family and faith. The amount of admiration I have for this woman I have never met is monumental. It is her faith in God that I am curious about because, should anyone ever doubt the existence of a fair and just God and everlasting life, it would be this woman.
Am I in search of peace? Not really. For the most part, I have found it. I don't really want for anything. Well, maybe ice cream. I have an amazing husband who adores me, a fantastic, healthy & happy child, wonderful family & friends, a home and a job I love. So I don't really know what drives this curiosity. It's kind of like an itch that I just need to scratch...
I joke with my family that when I am on my deathbed, I will have a priest, a preacher, a rabbi, a Buddhist monk, an imam and basically every other sort of religious cleric just to cover my bases because, at the end of the day, we don't really know what will happen once we die. If I admit it to myself, part of me hopes that I can avoid all of this by tasting the Kool Aid and liking it... now just to remember next Sunday that I do have an itch.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
If It's a Bromance, Does That Make You Brovers?
Tonight, I realized I am witness to a full-on bromance. As we talked about our plans for our housewarming wedding reception, I watched my hubby and my surrogate brother discuss in an almost giddy fashion the beer that they will make. How kind I was to marry the paramedic so as to provide these two with their first beer keg making opportunity. Apparently, it takes longer to weigh all your beer making options than it does to plan a three layer beach themed wedding cake. Who knew!?!On our wedding day, the paramedic and I did not dance. In fact, we have never danced. So I wonder what it means that tonight, for the second time, the paramedic shook his moneymaker with my surrogate brother? But who can be mad when you are witness to two white guys tummy bumping to dance music?
Is my nose out of joint? Well, for the number of times that I whine "you were my friend first" you might be inclined to think so but I am not. Honestly, I am not. I am thankful. The bromance makes the paramedic happy and makes me laugh. It does make me wonder: are they brovers? Not that there is nothing wrong with that.
I am also thankful that a funny little kid who, for the longest time, would only speak to me at the cabin actually jumped into my arms tonight to give me a good-bye hug. Jumped! We are truly thankful for this family who have embraced us as a couple and who only ever ask for our friendship in return. To know that we are unique and interesting to another couple is almost as special as finding the one person who truly gets you. Cheers to the elusive gift of couple love... in a non swinger way.
Having someone offer to make your wedding cake is an incredibly generous and meaningful gift. How truly lucky we are.
As I write this, with the paramedic snoring beside me, I feel nothing but love. Gushy, cheesy, yell it from the mountain tops love... and I give thanks for that every single second of every single day... even when the beer induced snoring is super duper loud.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Team Us Happily Ever After
Sometimes I wonder if I am becoming a traditionalist or maybe I was always a closet one. I mean, I am so excited to be Mrs. Paramedic that I am tempted to call everyone in my address book just so I can say, "Hi there, it's Mrs. Paramedic calling." At this moment in time, I don't even care how cheesy that is.
When I was younger, I thought that a woman taking her husband's last name was just sexist inequality making us seem like possessions. Now, I view it as joining a truly great team. Meeting the paramedic changed my thinking and I found that I was actually excited to take my husband's name. Heck, I changed my Facebook name a week in advance. The shared last name identifies us as Team Us.
But even though I have a new team name, I am equally blessed to remain an alumni player for my "maiden" team. And I am so incredibly thankful that my maiden team coaches are so supportive and excited for my new team as well. How lucky I am.
When we arrived home, my five year old "nephew" asked me why we were wearing rings. I told him that when we got married, we became a team and the matching rings are like our jerseys. It was certainly simpler and made just as much sense as repeating what was said during our ceremony: The rings are a symbol of your marriage. They are symbolic of the fact that you have this day pledged yourselves to marriage, and as the ring is a perfect circle without end, it is the wish and hope of all that your marriage will be as perfect and without end. They will always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect, and a public showing of your commitment to each other.
Walking around the happiest place on earth with my family, it was so wonderful to see my parents and my inlaws (both couples being married more than forty years) walking around holding hands. Watching these two couples, it is easy to see that they are still in their Happily Ever After. As we walked around hand in hand the paramedic joked about me overcoming my aversion to public displays of affection. In the happiest place on earth, with my very own prince, I was just so thrilled to start our life together as Team Us Happily Ever After.
When I was younger, I thought that a woman taking her husband's last name was just sexist inequality making us seem like possessions. Now, I view it as joining a truly great team. Meeting the paramedic changed my thinking and I found that I was actually excited to take my husband's name. Heck, I changed my Facebook name a week in advance. The shared last name identifies us as Team Us.
But even though I have a new team name, I am equally blessed to remain an alumni player for my "maiden" team. And I am so incredibly thankful that my maiden team coaches are so supportive and excited for my new team as well. How lucky I am.
When we arrived home, my five year old "nephew" asked me why we were wearing rings. I told him that when we got married, we became a team and the matching rings are like our jerseys. It was certainly simpler and made just as much sense as repeating what was said during our ceremony: The rings are a symbol of your marriage. They are symbolic of the fact that you have this day pledged yourselves to marriage, and as the ring is a perfect circle without end, it is the wish and hope of all that your marriage will be as perfect and without end. They will always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect, and a public showing of your commitment to each other.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
California Bride
I love California. I really believe I am a California girl born in the wrong region. After spending the day lounging poolside at the home of my San Diego family and watching the sun go down from my bayfront hotel room, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Peace. How I adore feeling this way.
I am so incredibly thankful to have found the person I am meant to be with, the one who brings me peace. I so look forward to standing next to him tomorrow on the beach with the kidlet and devoting myself to him for eternity.
People have commented about how calm I am about everything and I can only shrug and tell them I feel at complete peace. Surely they have to be tired of hearing it by now. But there is really no other way to really describe it. Elated. Content. Complete peace.
Having spent the last few days with the new additions to my family, I feel so grateful that this incredible person who has picked me out of the billions to choose from also has such a wonderful, welcoming family too. To have people welcome me and my child into their family without reservation is a magical gift.
Tonight, as I have a few hours of solitude, I am so thankful to be so blessed.
And for the free wifi so I can type this out on my phone. :)
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Live for Today & for Your Family
Today was, above all else, a reminder that nothing is more important than your family and that really we should just live for today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? And the past is over and done with and nothing is going to change that.
As I sat with my son at a memorial today for his friend's mother who was just four years older than me, I thought about all that I have to be thankful for. While this young girl spent the morning at the cemetery saying goodbye to her mother, I spent that time getting pedicures with my guys and my mother as we get ready for our family trip. So frivolous yet the things that memories are made of; memories of things just like this that this family shared today. As I watched the tears fall down my son's cheeks as he listened to his friend speak so eloquently and courageously about her mother, I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Grief and gratitude sometimes need to go hand in hand for us to truly appreciate all that we have.
As the day went on, I couldn't help but think about the grief stricken husband and his focus on the 23 years he spent with this woman rather than the 23 or more he has been robbed of. How lucky he is to have had 23 years of true love. What a wonderful gift and how thankful he must be for that. I am sure, if he was asked, he would not trade those 23 years for anything.
Memorials always make me think about my own mortality... I would imagine it is the same for most people. I always ask myself: If it all ended tomorrow, would I be at peace? As I watched this woman's final words to her family and friends reassuring them she was at peace, I imagine that she was grateful for the life that she had. She certainly seemed at peace and how grateful she must have been for that.
As I sit here writing this in a home full of love, laughter and respect, having spent the evening preparing for our trip, I know that - should it all end tomorrow - I, too, have found my peace and I am so eternally grateful for that... and the hair cut that the kidlet got today... and the paramedic accompanying the kidlet on his first pedicure.
As for living for today, as I had hummed and hawed about packing something that might not be the best idea for someone my age, I threw it in anyways. What the hell. Live for today.
As I sat with my son at a memorial today for his friend's mother who was just four years older than me, I thought about all that I have to be thankful for. While this young girl spent the morning at the cemetery saying goodbye to her mother, I spent that time getting pedicures with my guys and my mother as we get ready for our family trip. So frivolous yet the things that memories are made of; memories of things just like this that this family shared today. As I watched the tears fall down my son's cheeks as he listened to his friend speak so eloquently and courageously about her mother, I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Grief and gratitude sometimes need to go hand in hand for us to truly appreciate all that we have.
As the day went on, I couldn't help but think about the grief stricken husband and his focus on the 23 years he spent with this woman rather than the 23 or more he has been robbed of. How lucky he is to have had 23 years of true love. What a wonderful gift and how thankful he must be for that. I am sure, if he was asked, he would not trade those 23 years for anything.
Memorials always make me think about my own mortality... I would imagine it is the same for most people. I always ask myself: If it all ended tomorrow, would I be at peace? As I watched this woman's final words to her family and friends reassuring them she was at peace, I imagine that she was grateful for the life that she had. She certainly seemed at peace and how grateful she must have been for that.
As I sit here writing this in a home full of love, laughter and respect, having spent the evening preparing for our trip, I know that - should it all end tomorrow - I, too, have found my peace and I am so eternally grateful for that... and the hair cut that the kidlet got today... and the paramedic accompanying the kidlet on his first pedicure.
As for living for today, as I had hummed and hawed about packing something that might not be the best idea for someone my age, I threw it in anyways. What the hell. Live for today.
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