Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Driving Your Bus on the Life Route

Wow. Haven't written anything since May 9. How sad.

As I was dropping someone off at the airport this morning and wondering where (of even if) this person is going to fit into my life, I couldn't help but think about "my bus." One of the things that I have realized about myself is that I am someone who likes answers; I want to know the why. If there isn't an answer to the why, I have a tendency to develop a theory to explain it. One of the little gems that I came up with during my boring stint as a cubby worker which coincided with my never ending divorce saga (yup Paulie - still married to this day) where many of my relationships with people changed and many great new people entered my life was my theory of "the bus." It helped me explain the "why" of what happens to our relationships and connections with people as we travel through our life journey.

Our relationships - whether they are familial, romantic or friendship based - all evolve, I think. Our life is like a bus journey (not the gross, humid, overcrowded commuting kind but the "just right" kind) and we are the driver of the bus. Some people get on the bus, stand near the back and get off quickly, some people get on the bus and stand for a very long time near the front and sometimes people get on the bus and act as our co-pilot... and there are people in between. And while people are on the bus, sometimes they move around, changing positions - looking for the right spot. Every relationship gives us something wonderful but people come and go... the wonderful thing about the bus is that it is always traveling and always picking up new people as others exit.

I think when we are young, our bus travels an urban route where there are always new people coming and going - people constantly shifting positions - usually for a short time. But we also have those passengers who get on our urban route, take a seat somewhere on the bus and continue on with us as our route changes -  maybe moving toward the driver or getting comfortable at the back. As we age, we change our routes - moving from fast-paced urban routes to longer with less stops suburban or even rural routes. On these routes, we pick up less passengers but they stay on the bus longer.

And, of course, sometimes - usually related to romance - we pick up the wrong passengers. You know, the ones who are can be malicious, rude, obnoxious, want to shove of us off the seat and drive it themselves or downright violent but who, hopefully, we have the sense to slam on those brakes and toss them off the bus - whether there is a designated stop or not. A little snag in the route but the journey will continue on...