One Month of Giving Thanks Done! 11 More to Go...

January 30 & 31, 2012

I owe two days of thanks.

I am SO thankful that for TWO nights in a row, my pseudoaneorxic kid not only ate but ENJOYED the dinner I made... and one was even from the no-fun elimination hypoallergenic diet. Yay.

I am also thankful that my reluctant academic acknowledged in his self-evaluation that, if your mother is a French teacher, getting a B in grade 5 Core French just doesn't cut it... and that he shouldn't be so "cocky" (his word, not mine).

And, seriously, if you're not thankful that there is a Michael Jackson themed Glee on tonight - you might want to get checked out 'cuz there is probably something wrong with your wiring. Yippee Skippee. Although I really wish that Dianna Argon would get rid of those freakin' grannie shoes.

As for the paramedic, I am grateful that he always seems to know when to bring me a cup of tea. ;) It is always so very appreciated that, although he is so incredibly laid back, he will give me his honest opinion when it really matters.

After a month of doing this, I can honestly say two things:

1. It is SO EASY to find something to be thankful for everyday.
2. I need to find alternative words for thankful and grateful 'cuz it's getting rather repetitive.

Does Granite Change How Our Recipes Taste?

As I  was cooking up a storm in my tiny galley kitchen this morning, I admit that I was dreaming of a bigger, fancier kitchen. I used to date this guy from the prairies who was constantly telling me that the "problem" with people in BC is that we are never happy with what we have - we always need to have something "better." Am I guilty of this? To some degree, maybe, but it does not mean that I don't appreciate what I have. So as I cooked, it made me wonder: Does a granite countertop make our food taste better?

I don't "need" a bigger, fancier kitchen; I just want one. Silly? For sure. Today, I am grateful that I have everything that I need and a lot of things that I don't need but just have.

I am also thankful that today, when I went for a walk in the pouring rain, I was dodging puddles and not icy, snowy sections. I think the "problem" with the guy from the prairies was that he didn't get that we BCers have time to dream of things because we don't spend six months a year blowing snow and trying to figure out how to stay warm.

And thank you to the paramedic for only giggling softly tonight when I thought that a CVA patient was someone who had been in some sort of vehicular accident rather than a stroke victim.

Friends, Garlic and a Fidgeter

I give thanks today for friends who have welcomed the paramedic so readily and openly into their lives, who take him to hockey games so I can sit at home and watch The Help and eat two bowls full of rosemary garlic roast potatoes without any witnesses.

Thank you to the paramedic for letting me cuddle into him when we are watching TV and being so patient when I fidget. Thank you for loving such a pain in the ass.

To Catch Up...

Friday, January 27, 2012

Oops. Missed one.

Today I am thankful that the power was only out for 5 hours because once he depleted the power on two laptops, the paramedic became very cranky.

I am also grateful, as I am everyday, for the paramedic. No reason. Oh wait. I am grateful that he holds my hand at the hockey game because it gets cold.

Oh the Food Choices People Make...

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/story/2012/01/24/bc-100-dollar-hot-dog.html

Today I am thankful that this is not on the elimination hypoallergnic diet because a) it sounds disgusting; and b) it's freaking outrageously expensive.

What is wrong with people? Just because you can mix shit together doesn't mean you should. Seriously. Anything for attention, right? I wonder if the Kardashians are the backers.

I am also thankful that today the boys gulped the slurpees before they got home :0) and that my culinary friend made them shove the cookies in their mouthes yesterday before leaving her house.

So I'm An Ass...

I just about had a heart attack this morning when I got a message from my friend stating that I was an ass and wondering why she bothered with me... eek. This doubly sucked because she is not only my friend but my stylist. We all know how hard it is to find a good friend and even harder to find a good stylist. Fuck.

Luckily, after I apologized she admitted she was joking about everything but still thought I was an ass. Seems I'm not the only one... but what a relief... I wasn't even sure where to look for a new stylist in this town and I really need my roots done.

I know I am an ass. People tell me that ALL the time... even the paramedic told me I was one the first time he kissed me. Heck, my surrogate brother calls me an asshole... and I don't think women can even be assholes.

So today I am thankful for all the people in my life who not only love me but love that I am an ass. So very grateful...

On that note, I am also thankful that the paramedic loves spending so much time with my little male mini me... I just wish he would figure out to cut down on the chatter at bedtime with my male mini me... it has a tendency to act as a sound buffer to my yelling "get to bed RIGHT NOW!"

So Much for Not Rubbing It In...

Today I give thanks for the paramedic and the son not rubbing it in my face that they can eat my all time favourite junk food... Coke slurpees. Oh... nope. Wait... yes, actually, they did. The agony... I'm pretty sure that, after seeing the look of utter betrayal on my face as they waltzed through the door, though, that this will not happen again. Oooohhhhh Catholic guilt... you did not let me down. Bastards. Seriously.

What I do give thanks for is my culinary friend who offers tasty suggestons for the no-fun diet and lends out her yummy cookbooks... even if I have to look up some ingredients in the glossary. Which begs the question: should we be allowed to cook with ingredients we have no clue what they are? 

Miracles Do Happen... Even on Mondays

Today I am thankful for the miracle that is my son eating the homemade chicken and wild rice soup I made as part of my no-fun hypoallergenic diet. I mean, he ate it... the entire bowl. Now I pray the miracles will continue every night for the whole three weeks so we can share as a family the no-fun foodie experience. Of course, he polished off his meal with a huge bowl of ice cream and forced me to watch - that was the no-fun part for me. Perhaps that was a passive aggressive payback for the nutritious soup?

I am also thankful that the paramedic kept pushing the "get out and walk" because, eventhough the paths were icy, it felt super great to be outside.

Oh. And I am thankful for the Nyquil commercial with the 200 lb baby. It makes me giggle... because it is soooooo true. That is some funny shit.

So Much for Quiet Time...

As I am fully into Day 1 of my uber-restrictive hypoallergenic diet with restorative supplements, I can easily say that what I am most thankful for today is to be home alone. I'm not sure if it is my body giving me some serious raspberries over the no-fun food or what... but seriously, it's a good thing everyone is out.

Why Can't The Options Be More Fun and Tasty?

I am not exactly sure why my initial visit to the naturopathic physician today left me so cranky and irritable. Perhaps I was hoping that she held a magic wand but, instead, she offered up an extremely restrictive diet and pricey supplements.

But don't get me wrong, I am thankful that I have options to get me back to optimal health and I am also thankful that I have the resources available to me to exercise these pricey options.

So why no humour today? Because let's face it... there is nothing funny about a dairy-free, gluten-free, sugar-free, soy-free, corn-free and just about everything else-free diet. So... maybe I'll laugh after three weeks of this horrific diet only if I drop another pant size and eliminate my 80 year old man stomach... otherwise the joke is on me.

As always, I am thankful to live with the kindest and most understanding soul in the world.

Good Natured Emotional Abuse...

Friday, January 20, 2012

Today I am thankful that the paramedic dragged me out of the house for the first time in three days so that I could enjoy the good natured emotional abuse brought about by putting him in the same room as my surrogate brother.

I do have to say, though, that I was a bit taken aback to hear him say "pot kettle" over a comment I made about my surrogate brother's bedtime manner with his children. I guess the honeymoon period is over...

I am also thankful that I live with someone from the prairies who is unphased by both my spastic backseat driving and five or so inches of ice on the road.

And the crankiness sets in...

After four days of extreme weather in the Valley which has kept us inside, one of the residents at our place is getting rather cranky: me. Even cranky, I am able to find more than one thing to be thankful for. Today, I am most thankful for something rather superficial but that has probably delayed the onslaught of insanity for at least another day - having more than one television in the house. Why? Because if I had to spend another day watching virtural racing and hockey or Adam Sandler movies, I'd probably have chosen to bury myself in a snowdrift and wait out the storm.

I am also thankful that the paramedic is able to make the perfect cup of tea and smiles when handing it over to a rather crabby half-blonde (boy, do I need to get my roots done).

Baby, It's Cold Outside...

When my alarm went off this morning, all I could hear was wind. When I saw a snow drift!!!! at the patio door, I knew there was no way I was sending my child off to school... open or not. I'm so thankful I did not as kids were off to school (in temperatures around -15 before windchill is factored in) only to be sent home a couple of hours later. Now, I'm not an administrator but I do know that the only thing that pisses parents off more than a snow day is treking through white out conditions to get your kid to school only to be called to come back before lunch. But, again, I'm no administrator...

Oh... and I am thankful for fleece sheets... so cozy!

I also give thanks for the paramedic today for quickly becoming the favourite parent at our house... spending 31:53 minutes outside today with my kid in temperatures below -20... just because they could.

Home Schooling Curriculum for Snow Days...

For Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Today I give thanks for snow days... because, I admit, I am a BC chicken shit when it comes to driving in the snow. It's not the snow that terrifies me but the drivers of the summer tired minivans. I am also thankful that I no longer work for a school district which still required teachers to come to school on snow days... THAT I did not get.

We have just finished Day 2 of snow days... and probably be in for one more. This lead me to develop a home school curriculum to ensure that my child is not missing out on his education. It is a personalized plan to meet the needs of my own child so not necessarily applicable to all children.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Shovel aerobics

SCIENCE: Perishable food items taken from a lunchbox and hidden in the closet. An experiment with mold.

LANGUAGE ARTS: Adam Sandler - comedic genius or moronic jackass? A debate.

HEALTH & CAREER EDUCATION: Why refusing to wear clean underwear can impede your social development thus limiting career opportunities. A real life case study.

MATHEMATICS: Applying math to real life problems - What does it cost to clean the bathroom? An entire bottle of cleaner costs $4.27 and a roll of paper towels costs $3.89. How much of each will you use and what will this cost?

The paramedic has pointed out that I neglected to publicly give him thanks in my previous post... apparently he is no longer in the closet... so today I will give thanks for two things. One: I give thanks that he drove this chicken shit to her parents' house in the snow and kept the BCer jokes to a minimum. Two: I give thanks that, although he AGAIN loaded the upper rack of the dishwasher front to back, he cleaned up after dinner eventhough there was a hockey game on.

These are Just a Few of My Favourite Things...

Monday, January 16, 2012

As I was rummaging around in my parents' basement, I came across two of my favourite sweaters. As I gleefully threw one on and raced upstairs, I was met with a bunch of "um..."s and a few of those choking laughs. Apparently, one of my favourite things has passed its prime...

This reminded me of an article I read a few years ago about a woman who solved the problem of what to do with some of her favourite things. She created her cabin/cottage wardrobe... meaning all of her favourite things that got similar reactions to mine were sent up to the family cottage where she would wear them on her weekend getaways. The photos of her shoveling dirt while wearing a prom dress with a tacky, bulky cardigan and gumboots were hilarious. 

I also remember my girlfriend telling me that she would wash her dishes wearing her wedding dress because, in her own words, "where the hell am I ever going to wear it?" Since her divorce, I wonder if she has repurposed the gown - dartboard maybe?

But the idea is simply genius... I love the idea of repurposing those items which I simply love and have no desire to part with. One of these items includes a sweater I purchased in 1986 from Woodward's for $75 (a fortune for a 12 year old!) using the last money I ever received as a Christmas gift from my grandfather. As I pulled it out of the storage bin, I was thrilled that it: a)still fit (okay, skinny 12 year old me bought a man's sweater) and; b)is in perfect condition.

So, of course, this reminds me of "the chair." This chair was once my grandfather's and something I have been lugging around since 1986. It is cheap, ugly and in total disrepair... but I am apparently completely unable to part with it. When I moved into my new classroom this year, I think what I was happiest about is that this chair finally had a home where I could enjoy it everyday but it was no longer cluttering up my own home. What someone else considers crap (as in, an overeager apparently entitled TOC currently invading my space) has become a treasured item in my room which students respect the sanctity of... seriously... it's weird that they "get" my over protectedness of this stupid chair... treating it with more respect than any other item in the room. And THIS gives me hope that they are not the insensitive shits everyone tells me they are.

So, I end this rather lengthy sappy blog with this: I give thanks for a few of my favourite things...

Sleeping Like a Log Amid the World's Longest and Loudest Twin Smoke Alarms

Today I give thanks for someone who proved today this it is, evidently, possible to sleep like a log... as many members of my family tested this with boisterous car races & crashes, awkward dance offs, clumsy ski races, frustrating rounds of golf, violent dart throwing by uber competitive six year olds, children crying, screaming and cursing their defeats, cries of injustice, youTube music videos, and the world's loudest and longest running twin fire alarm system apparently not equipped with an off button.

I am not giving thanks in the altruistic sense that I am grateful someone was able to rest during a loud day at the condo but, rather, that I feel no guilt over failing to provide a restful environment for someone working the night shift.

So, let's face it: What I am really thankful for today is not feeling guilty.

However, this begs the question: who the hell is going to protect me if someone breaks in?

Really Loud Nieces and Genetic Bossiness

Saturday, January 14, 2012

As I stood at the check out at the grocery store today, the young clerk commented on the interaction between my two nieces as one niece was noisily telling the other one how to stack the baskets. Of course, the younger one was as equally loud in explaining that her way was the right way. I looked over at them and laughed saying that it wasn't "older sister" anything, it's just genetic bossiness. Family and inherited traits - how can you not be thankful for that?

As I watched them hang out with my own child this evening, I couldn't help but be in awe of the similarities between these three kids. Genes are seriously cool. I have absolutely no idea how any of that works - or why my niece insists that she has "a wee bit" of dog DNA - but it is truly awesome.

So, today I give thanks to genes... and the really loud, obnoxiously hilarious bossy children who share mine.

As for the paramedic: I give thanks that I live with a guy who is man enough to own up to the fact that he drove to a drive thru today because he just did not feel like making breakfast or coffee. Or should I worry that he is now affected with the princess syndrome currently affecting my kid? Now that I think about it - maybe I should not give thanks... maybe I should worry.

Yahoo! for Being Blindsided by those Mini Parent Miracles

Well, I do not need until the end of the day to figure out what I am thankful for today. It was one of those mini parent miracles...

There are many ongoing battles at our house between hot headed mother and son. Anyone who knows me has probably undoubtedly heard me say (or scream depending on the situation), "The only problem with being a stubborn smart ass is that you usually end up raising one..." Karma is a real nasty bitch sometimes.

Homework and nutrition are probably up there in the top 5 for battles... and yet, today, a tiny miracle happened... my pseudoanorexic slacker came home from school today, popped open his laptop and started doing writing based homework. ON A FRIDAY!!! And, then, although I thought I had misheard him over my tears of relief, he asked for a fruit smoothie as a snack... not fish crackers or some other sort of packaged deal... a bonafide nutritious snack. Was I shocked? Let's just say, I was really tempted to ask "What did you do wrong at school today?" but I bit my tongue and looked for hidden cameras instead.

Does this mean there is hope that next week I will be washing seven pairs of junior underwear????

In light of it being his birthday, I am grateful that BMAR13 is turning 38 before me... 'cuz that just sounds really fucking old. I am also thankful that - even though we have had numerous melodramatic platonic breakups - I never threw out this Christmas card he made for me in 1992.... Holy crap. It has made me smile for 20 years everytime I look at it hanging somewhere in my home. If ol' Debbie could see us now, hey Brysie?!?!?

As for the paramedic: Thank you for pretending you did not want a smoothie for breakfast this morning so I did not have to get up before 5am.

Aren't We All Just Various Versions of Stew?

Besides midday naps, the one nice thing about being stuck at home is having the time to slow cook something like a stew on a weekday. A great and nutritous comfort food - perfect for a cool January dinner.

Besides being saddled with uncontrollable stomach issues, I also seem to be saddled with an uncontrollable need to reflect. And, to be honest, I'm not sure which is worse. Haha. But sometimes it is pretty darn hilarious where the mind takes you...

So, today on January 12, as I put together my stew, I give thanks for B. Joan - the mother of my high school boyfriend and the woman who gave me her stew recipe. B. Joan played an important role in my life for nearly six years and, although we banged heads frequently, she welcomed me into her family and offered me many opportunities different from the ones I experienced with my own family... memories that can be included in my stew recipe today. Without her, I never would have had sailing adventures (who knew it IS dangerous to anchor in the path of BC ferries?), sat for hours in the dark giggling with my teen love over our refusal to eat cold (on purpose) carrot soup or learned - through an overly dramatic talking to about a high school party - that some people actually say "awr-gye" as opposed to "awr-jee" (which, incidentally, I had to ask the meaning of later).

As I stood rummaging through the fridge for ingredients for today's stew, I realized that my stew has evolved from when I first started making it over twenty years ago (fuck, I am old). The complimentary vegetables change each time; however, at the core of the recipe, it is still just meat, potatoes, tomato soup and seasoning. A wonderful foundation for a tantalizing dish...

And, if you think about it - which I certainly have time to do - isn't that what makes us who we are - a great core recipe with changes and/or additions over time?

Although B. Joan got off my bus in 1994, I give thanks for her, her family, the experiences and memories she gave me and for her role in shaping the recipe of me today.

To conclude and to satisfy the needs of the closest narcissist: I am thankful for the strong arms that wrap around me at the end of the day. But, seriously, what is with the twitching foot?!?!

Being Thankful... Harder Than It Looks (But Not Why You Might Think)

So I'm sitting here doing something I'd swore, once I completed my Education degree, I'd never do again: REFLECTING. Ugh. It's like a vicious circle... Do something. Think about. Do it again. Think about it again. And on and on and on...

It's only day 11 of consciously giving thanks each day for something. And it's hard, harder than I thought. What's ironic is that it's hard, once you start thinking about it, picking just one thing to be thankful for. Because, ding! ding!, it doesn't have to be some big, huge, colossal life altering thing that you're thankful for - just one thing.

I had also told myself that I would find something different to be thankful for every day... because seriously who wants to read: I am thankful for the paramedic every day? I mean: yawn. Now, when I told the paramedic that I could not publicly (is it public if two people read it?) give thanks for him everyday because that is sappy, uncreative, annoying and dull - his response was that he would be okay with that. Instead, (sappy statement coming up), I promised to continue thanking him everyday in various ways ;-). But - I think he might be a closest narcissist - he said he was okay with daily public thanks. And who said we are complete opposites??

Today was about giving thanks for the little things and I have three:

1. This thanks is three part: I am thankful that I am neither the mother nor the teacher of the two brats running around the ice rink today who came to complete (momentary) stop when I pointed out that while I could not stop them from running amok around the rink, I was certainly not okay with them jumping all over the bench I was sitting on. I am also thankful my teacher voice hasn't gotten rusty. I am also thankful that my child did not actually die of embarrassment.

2. I am thankful that I make the paramedic laugh out loud - even when it is unintentional. I don't think my child and I would actually kill each other if I was to home school him so I'm not sure why the paramedic thinks the idea of homeschooling would be a cross between slapstick comedy and a disaster flick.

3. And, as my sleep patterns are off and I've gone back to my night owl ways, I am very thankful to have reconnected with my childhood insomniac friend so I have someone to talk to after midnight. I am also thankful he reluctantly answers my "what are you thankful for?" each night with his sardonic meets sappy wit. Isn't it amazing how much you don't realize you miss someone until they come waltzing back in... again. ;-)

At least the medical "advice" is free...

Today I am thankful that our medical is free. Why am I thankful? Well, because had I paid for the rather apathetic and somewhat dimwitted advice I received, I would be demanding a refund. So, today, I am thankful that I did not have to pay to hear someone tell me something that is common sense but really, under the circumstances, not very bright.

Hers is how his side of the conversationa went and how I would have preferred my side went:

Me: While I wait another six weeks for more tests, do you have any advice for me to help alleviate my food issues?

Him: It is important to eat a well balanaced diet.

Me: No shit, Dr. Sherlock. But what advice do you have for someone who has trouble digesting a lot of food? I've had to give up dairy, whole grains and a lot of fruits and vegetables.

Him: In order to maintain your health, you need to follow the recommendations in the Canada Food Guide.

Me: Gee, do you think? I had not heard of that EVER.

Him: You can not give up all those foods as you need them to maintain your health.

Me: Even if they make me sick?

Him: Well, let's not jump to conclusions until we see some test results.

Me: Right... because I have NO IDEA what I'm talking about when I say "Food is making me sick and has been for over six months."

Him: Did you have any more questions?

Me: Am I being Prank'd? Because you seriously can't be for real...

Like I said... I am thankful it was free.

Thankful today for the comments of one guy and the lack of comments of another...

January 9, 2012

Today I am thankful for this guy...

http://www.news1130.com/news/national/article/317531--forget-mayan-2012-prediction-expert-says-the-world-ends-in-500-million-years

who, surpisingly, does not believe the world will end on December 21, 2012.

I am thankful for this because there really is a lot of stuff I'd like to do still and I'd really like to be a Mrs. for more than seven months. Dying without celebrating a first anniversary would sort of suck. I've also seen the movie 2012 and I definitely do not want to be around when continents start to move around and lava seems to come out of everywhere... although riding in those ark things would be cool.

I am also thankful that Squire Barnes did not show up on Global News until 11:20. I am thankful that I was able to watch 20 minutes of local news without that annoying pip squeak squawking some lame ass comments. So, although I miss Jill, I am thankful that it isn't Squire as the main anchor.

365 Days of Giving Thanks or 355 Days of Giving Thanks if the Mayans were right

Disclaimer & warning: It is the middle of the night and this post will not be funny but probably sappy.

It is 3:25am and I am wide awake. I have read through all the celebrity news I can find (LeeAnne Rimes and Eddie Cibrian might actually be the most annoying and irrelevant people alive today) and just reread my own blog (I am a narcissist so what do you expect? and realized I AM pretty darn funny).

I have not posted anything since Thanksgiving. Weird. I write funny stuff in my head all the time but, like the true professional procrastinator that I am, don't actually type anything out. I think I also have one or two Pulitzer worthy novels up there too. Lol. Ya right.

I have had numerous sleepless nights since just before New Year's and most of the time, I think about what I am thankful for. It seems I have spent much time in the last couple of months thinking about what I am thankful for since that was the whole theme of my last post. And it's strange because I am a die hard cynic. Is there such a thing as a sappy cynic? Or am I some sort of trailblazer?

New Year's this year was a bit of an anomaly. Although I was going through a miscarriage which was sad, I felt really thankful for what I did have in my life and excited and optimistic about what lies ahead. It just seemed weird to feel sad and excited all at the same time. I was thankful to have had those pregnancy weeks even though the outcome was disappointing. And, each day, I found at least one thing to be thankful for. Not just the big things like family and health but little things. I decided that the only New Year's resolution that I would make was to write in my blog each day announcing one thing I was thankful for... well, that plus lose weight, go to the gym more than once a month, eat better, eat less meat, write more, learn to save money, ride a horse, don't let the marking pile up, improve my French, not let that stupid F'ing dance game I got for Christmas get the better of me, stop the F'ing swearing...

Clearly, as it is nearly 4am on January 8 and this is my first post since October, I am a bit behind with my New Year's resolution. Here is to make up for lost time.

1. Today (pretending it is January 1) I am thankful for the paramedic. I can't believe that I have been lucky enough to find someone who will not only put up with me but actually seems to enjoy putting up with me. And I am also thankful that he lets me tell him everyday that I am thankful for him and he doesn't get all cocky about it... because that would be annoying and then I'd have to stop doing it. And that would piss me off... so I guess I am also thankful that he doesn't piss me off.

2. Today (pretending it is January 2) I am thankful that I have the kind of job security I have that allows me to take time off from work to sort out my health and I don't have to worry about salary or my position. I get that other people don't have that so I am thankful it is not something I have to stress over.

3. Today (pretending it is January 3) I am thankful to have a friend who always tells me I'm funny. I mean, I know I'm funny but, as a narcissist, I like it when people tell me I'm funny. External validation is always a good thing... I don't care what mental health practitioners say.

4. Today (January 4) I am thankful for Coke slurpees. For me, it is like a good bottle of wine. Seriously. I also give thanks to whoever gave birth to the inventor of the Coke slurpee. You made the world a better place. And I am thankful the paramedic and my son brought me one.

5. Today(January 5) I am thankful to live somewhere where we can BBQ in January without a jacket on and to have access to fresh veggies perfect for grilling. And I am thankful to have a BBQ again.

6. Today (January 6) I am thankful to Barb for giving birth to the paramedic... and to Larry for contributing to that as well. I am also thankful to have so many new people welcome us into their lives so warmly and generously.

7. Today (January 7) I am thankful for lazy afternoons at home... and for someone to share them with.

8. Today, as I sit here and right this long, sappy post, I am thankful for the ability to write and use words because it is something that I truly love to do, which feeds my soul and occupies me when I have had too much caffeine, read through all the celebrity news and just can't sleep...

Is this full of errors? Probably. Why? Because I cannot bring myself to reread it; it is probably so sappy and corny, I will gag, barf and delete.