Having had a few train wrecks of my own (I guess that wasn't my neighbour's SUV with the UHaul trailer that just looked like mine), I've become a bit obsessed with celebrity train wrecks. After all, I can be thankful that when I walk into work, kids can't say "Oh look. It's that dumbass who lived with a guy who left her at home to raise his kids while he gambled away all her money." My shame is only known to a select few. But I do have something to learn from these celebrity train wrecks. On a recent episode of Oprah Winfrey, the current train wreck that is David Arquette talked about anger. He said that he has learned that anger is like drinking poison but expecting the other person to die. It got me thinking about my own anger... and how do I deal with it?
Anyone who knows me knows that I receive a plethora of emails from someone to whom I will be forever linked... not by choice. These emails used to fill me with anger. Over the years, and thankfully due to the volume of them, I have learned that humour is the best way to deal with my anger. In responding to these emails using humour, I am able to deflect my own anger back on the person who has caused it... in essence throwing his drink right back in his face. It has allowed me to appreciate the absurdity of these interactions and to learn to take all the crap that life has thrown at me with a hearty laugh.
While I am not thankful for that a once great relationship has been downgraded to pretty much open hositility, I am grateful that it has allowed me to learn and grow and tell a really wicked joke.
Recently, I took this humour and applied it to a spoken exchange. Speaking about an (once again) absurd electronic interaction, I used my humour to let this person know that I no longer feel enraged but, rather, find them amusing. Using humour to replace anger, I found it to be a powerful tool to not only calm myself and let things go but to let the adversary know that he does not have the ability to control my emotions. Only I do. But I do have to admit, I'm no saint. It was pretty funny to see how unnerved he was when I laughed and smiled.
As I make my away from my current train wreck, I can reflect on what I have learned and use it to move forward... throwing another person's drink right back in his face.
