Good Natured Emotional Abuse...

Friday, January 20, 2012

Today I am thankful that the paramedic dragged me out of the house for the first time in three days so that I could enjoy the good natured emotional abuse brought about by putting him in the same room as my surrogate brother.

I do have to say, though, that I was a bit taken aback to hear him say "pot kettle" over a comment I made about my surrogate brother's bedtime manner with his children. I guess the honeymoon period is over...

I am also thankful that I live with someone from the prairies who is unphased by both my spastic backseat driving and five or so inches of ice on the road.

And the crankiness sets in...

After four days of extreme weather in the Valley which has kept us inside, one of the residents at our place is getting rather cranky: me. Even cranky, I am able to find more than one thing to be thankful for. Today, I am most thankful for something rather superficial but that has probably delayed the onslaught of insanity for at least another day - having more than one television in the house. Why? Because if I had to spend another day watching virtural racing and hockey or Adam Sandler movies, I'd probably have chosen to bury myself in a snowdrift and wait out the storm.

I am also thankful that the paramedic is able to make the perfect cup of tea and smiles when handing it over to a rather crabby half-blonde (boy, do I need to get my roots done).

Baby, It's Cold Outside...

When my alarm went off this morning, all I could hear was wind. When I saw a snow drift!!!! at the patio door, I knew there was no way I was sending my child off to school... open or not. I'm so thankful I did not as kids were off to school (in temperatures around -15 before windchill is factored in) only to be sent home a couple of hours later. Now, I'm not an administrator but I do know that the only thing that pisses parents off more than a snow day is treking through white out conditions to get your kid to school only to be called to come back before lunch. But, again, I'm no administrator...

Oh... and I am thankful for fleece sheets... so cozy!

I also give thanks for the paramedic today for quickly becoming the favourite parent at our house... spending 31:53 minutes outside today with my kid in temperatures below -20... just because they could.

Home Schooling Curriculum for Snow Days...

For Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Today I give thanks for snow days... because, I admit, I am a BC chicken shit when it comes to driving in the snow. It's not the snow that terrifies me but the drivers of the summer tired minivans. I am also thankful that I no longer work for a school district which still required teachers to come to school on snow days... THAT I did not get.

We have just finished Day 2 of snow days... and probably be in for one more. This lead me to develop a home school curriculum to ensure that my child is not missing out on his education. It is a personalized plan to meet the needs of my own child so not necessarily applicable to all children.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Shovel aerobics

SCIENCE: Perishable food items taken from a lunchbox and hidden in the closet. An experiment with mold.

LANGUAGE ARTS: Adam Sandler - comedic genius or moronic jackass? A debate.

HEALTH & CAREER EDUCATION: Why refusing to wear clean underwear can impede your social development thus limiting career opportunities. A real life case study.

MATHEMATICS: Applying math to real life problems - What does it cost to clean the bathroom? An entire bottle of cleaner costs $4.27 and a roll of paper towels costs $3.89. How much of each will you use and what will this cost?

The paramedic has pointed out that I neglected to publicly give him thanks in my previous post... apparently he is no longer in the closet... so today I will give thanks for two things. One: I give thanks that he drove this chicken shit to her parents' house in the snow and kept the BCer jokes to a minimum. Two: I give thanks that, although he AGAIN loaded the upper rack of the dishwasher front to back, he cleaned up after dinner eventhough there was a hockey game on.

These are Just a Few of My Favourite Things...

Monday, January 16, 2012

As I was rummaging around in my parents' basement, I came across two of my favourite sweaters. As I gleefully threw one on and raced upstairs, I was met with a bunch of "um..."s and a few of those choking laughs. Apparently, one of my favourite things has passed its prime...

This reminded me of an article I read a few years ago about a woman who solved the problem of what to do with some of her favourite things. She created her cabin/cottage wardrobe... meaning all of her favourite things that got similar reactions to mine were sent up to the family cottage where she would wear them on her weekend getaways. The photos of her shoveling dirt while wearing a prom dress with a tacky, bulky cardigan and gumboots were hilarious. 

I also remember my girlfriend telling me that she would wash her dishes wearing her wedding dress because, in her own words, "where the hell am I ever going to wear it?" Since her divorce, I wonder if she has repurposed the gown - dartboard maybe?

But the idea is simply genius... I love the idea of repurposing those items which I simply love and have no desire to part with. One of these items includes a sweater I purchased in 1986 from Woodward's for $75 (a fortune for a 12 year old!) using the last money I ever received as a Christmas gift from my grandfather. As I pulled it out of the storage bin, I was thrilled that it: a)still fit (okay, skinny 12 year old me bought a man's sweater) and; b)is in perfect condition.

So, of course, this reminds me of "the chair." This chair was once my grandfather's and something I have been lugging around since 1986. It is cheap, ugly and in total disrepair... but I am apparently completely unable to part with it. When I moved into my new classroom this year, I think what I was happiest about is that this chair finally had a home where I could enjoy it everyday but it was no longer cluttering up my own home. What someone else considers crap (as in, an overeager apparently entitled TOC currently invading my space) has become a treasured item in my room which students respect the sanctity of... seriously... it's weird that they "get" my over protectedness of this stupid chair... treating it with more respect than any other item in the room. And THIS gives me hope that they are not the insensitive shits everyone tells me they are.

So, I end this rather lengthy sappy blog with this: I give thanks for a few of my favourite things...

Sleeping Like a Log Amid the World's Longest and Loudest Twin Smoke Alarms

Today I give thanks for someone who proved today this it is, evidently, possible to sleep like a log... as many members of my family tested this with boisterous car races & crashes, awkward dance offs, clumsy ski races, frustrating rounds of golf, violent dart throwing by uber competitive six year olds, children crying, screaming and cursing their defeats, cries of injustice, youTube music videos, and the world's loudest and longest running twin fire alarm system apparently not equipped with an off button.

I am not giving thanks in the altruistic sense that I am grateful someone was able to rest during a loud day at the condo but, rather, that I feel no guilt over failing to provide a restful environment for someone working the night shift.

So, let's face it: What I am really thankful for today is not feeling guilty.

However, this begs the question: who the hell is going to protect me if someone breaks in?

Really Loud Nieces and Genetic Bossiness

Saturday, January 14, 2012

As I stood at the check out at the grocery store today, the young clerk commented on the interaction between my two nieces as one niece was noisily telling the other one how to stack the baskets. Of course, the younger one was as equally loud in explaining that her way was the right way. I looked over at them and laughed saying that it wasn't "older sister" anything, it's just genetic bossiness. Family and inherited traits - how can you not be thankful for that?

As I watched them hang out with my own child this evening, I couldn't help but be in awe of the similarities between these three kids. Genes are seriously cool. I have absolutely no idea how any of that works - or why my niece insists that she has "a wee bit" of dog DNA - but it is truly awesome.

So, today I give thanks to genes... and the really loud, obnoxiously hilarious bossy children who share mine.

As for the paramedic: I give thanks that I live with a guy who is man enough to own up to the fact that he drove to a drive thru today because he just did not feel like making breakfast or coffee. Or should I worry that he is now affected with the princess syndrome currently affecting my kid? Now that I think about it - maybe I should not give thanks... maybe I should worry.

Yahoo! for Being Blindsided by those Mini Parent Miracles

Well, I do not need until the end of the day to figure out what I am thankful for today. It was one of those mini parent miracles...

There are many ongoing battles at our house between hot headed mother and son. Anyone who knows me has probably undoubtedly heard me say (or scream depending on the situation), "The only problem with being a stubborn smart ass is that you usually end up raising one..." Karma is a real nasty bitch sometimes.

Homework and nutrition are probably up there in the top 5 for battles... and yet, today, a tiny miracle happened... my pseudoanorexic slacker came home from school today, popped open his laptop and started doing writing based homework. ON A FRIDAY!!! And, then, although I thought I had misheard him over my tears of relief, he asked for a fruit smoothie as a snack... not fish crackers or some other sort of packaged deal... a bonafide nutritious snack. Was I shocked? Let's just say, I was really tempted to ask "What did you do wrong at school today?" but I bit my tongue and looked for hidden cameras instead.

Does this mean there is hope that next week I will be washing seven pairs of junior underwear????

In light of it being his birthday, I am grateful that BMAR13 is turning 38 before me... 'cuz that just sounds really fucking old. I am also thankful that - even though we have had numerous melodramatic platonic breakups - I never threw out this Christmas card he made for me in 1992.... Holy crap. It has made me smile for 20 years everytime I look at it hanging somewhere in my home. If ol' Debbie could see us now, hey Brysie?!?!?

As for the paramedic: Thank you for pretending you did not want a smoothie for breakfast this morning so I did not have to get up before 5am.

Aren't We All Just Various Versions of Stew?

Besides midday naps, the one nice thing about being stuck at home is having the time to slow cook something like a stew on a weekday. A great and nutritous comfort food - perfect for a cool January dinner.

Besides being saddled with uncontrollable stomach issues, I also seem to be saddled with an uncontrollable need to reflect. And, to be honest, I'm not sure which is worse. Haha. But sometimes it is pretty darn hilarious where the mind takes you...

So, today on January 12, as I put together my stew, I give thanks for B. Joan - the mother of my high school boyfriend and the woman who gave me her stew recipe. B. Joan played an important role in my life for nearly six years and, although we banged heads frequently, she welcomed me into her family and offered me many opportunities different from the ones I experienced with my own family... memories that can be included in my stew recipe today. Without her, I never would have had sailing adventures (who knew it IS dangerous to anchor in the path of BC ferries?), sat for hours in the dark giggling with my teen love over our refusal to eat cold (on purpose) carrot soup or learned - through an overly dramatic talking to about a high school party - that some people actually say "awr-gye" as opposed to "awr-jee" (which, incidentally, I had to ask the meaning of later).

As I stood rummaging through the fridge for ingredients for today's stew, I realized that my stew has evolved from when I first started making it over twenty years ago (fuck, I am old). The complimentary vegetables change each time; however, at the core of the recipe, it is still just meat, potatoes, tomato soup and seasoning. A wonderful foundation for a tantalizing dish...

And, if you think about it - which I certainly have time to do - isn't that what makes us who we are - a great core recipe with changes and/or additions over time?

Although B. Joan got off my bus in 1994, I give thanks for her, her family, the experiences and memories she gave me and for her role in shaping the recipe of me today.

To conclude and to satisfy the needs of the closest narcissist: I am thankful for the strong arms that wrap around me at the end of the day. But, seriously, what is with the twitching foot?!?!

Being Thankful... Harder Than It Looks (But Not Why You Might Think)

So I'm sitting here doing something I'd swore, once I completed my Education degree, I'd never do again: REFLECTING. Ugh. It's like a vicious circle... Do something. Think about. Do it again. Think about it again. And on and on and on...

It's only day 11 of consciously giving thanks each day for something. And it's hard, harder than I thought. What's ironic is that it's hard, once you start thinking about it, picking just one thing to be thankful for. Because, ding! ding!, it doesn't have to be some big, huge, colossal life altering thing that you're thankful for - just one thing.

I had also told myself that I would find something different to be thankful for every day... because seriously who wants to read: I am thankful for the paramedic every day? I mean: yawn. Now, when I told the paramedic that I could not publicly (is it public if two people read it?) give thanks for him everyday because that is sappy, uncreative, annoying and dull - his response was that he would be okay with that. Instead, (sappy statement coming up), I promised to continue thanking him everyday in various ways ;-). But - I think he might be a closest narcissist - he said he was okay with daily public thanks. And who said we are complete opposites??

Today was about giving thanks for the little things and I have three:

1. This thanks is three part: I am thankful that I am neither the mother nor the teacher of the two brats running around the ice rink today who came to complete (momentary) stop when I pointed out that while I could not stop them from running amok around the rink, I was certainly not okay with them jumping all over the bench I was sitting on. I am also thankful my teacher voice hasn't gotten rusty. I am also thankful that my child did not actually die of embarrassment.

2. I am thankful that I make the paramedic laugh out loud - even when it is unintentional. I don't think my child and I would actually kill each other if I was to home school him so I'm not sure why the paramedic thinks the idea of homeschooling would be a cross between slapstick comedy and a disaster flick.

3. And, as my sleep patterns are off and I've gone back to my night owl ways, I am very thankful to have reconnected with my childhood insomniac friend so I have someone to talk to after midnight. I am also thankful he reluctantly answers my "what are you thankful for?" each night with his sardonic meets sappy wit. Isn't it amazing how much you don't realize you miss someone until they come waltzing back in... again. ;-)

At least the medical "advice" is free...

Today I am thankful that our medical is free. Why am I thankful? Well, because had I paid for the rather apathetic and somewhat dimwitted advice I received, I would be demanding a refund. So, today, I am thankful that I did not have to pay to hear someone tell me something that is common sense but really, under the circumstances, not very bright.

Hers is how his side of the conversationa went and how I would have preferred my side went:

Me: While I wait another six weeks for more tests, do you have any advice for me to help alleviate my food issues?

Him: It is important to eat a well balanaced diet.

Me: No shit, Dr. Sherlock. But what advice do you have for someone who has trouble digesting a lot of food? I've had to give up dairy, whole grains and a lot of fruits and vegetables.

Him: In order to maintain your health, you need to follow the recommendations in the Canada Food Guide.

Me: Gee, do you think? I had not heard of that EVER.

Him: You can not give up all those foods as you need them to maintain your health.

Me: Even if they make me sick?

Him: Well, let's not jump to conclusions until we see some test results.

Me: Right... because I have NO IDEA what I'm talking about when I say "Food is making me sick and has been for over six months."

Him: Did you have any more questions?

Me: Am I being Prank'd? Because you seriously can't be for real...

Like I said... I am thankful it was free.

Thankful today for the comments of one guy and the lack of comments of another...

January 9, 2012

Today I am thankful for this guy...

http://www.news1130.com/news/national/article/317531--forget-mayan-2012-prediction-expert-says-the-world-ends-in-500-million-years

who, surpisingly, does not believe the world will end on December 21, 2012.

I am thankful for this because there really is a lot of stuff I'd like to do still and I'd really like to be a Mrs. for more than seven months. Dying without celebrating a first anniversary would sort of suck. I've also seen the movie 2012 and I definitely do not want to be around when continents start to move around and lava seems to come out of everywhere... although riding in those ark things would be cool.

I am also thankful that Squire Barnes did not show up on Global News until 11:20. I am thankful that I was able to watch 20 minutes of local news without that annoying pip squeak squawking some lame ass comments. So, although I miss Jill, I am thankful that it isn't Squire as the main anchor.

365 Days of Giving Thanks or 355 Days of Giving Thanks if the Mayans were right

Disclaimer & warning: It is the middle of the night and this post will not be funny but probably sappy.

It is 3:25am and I am wide awake. I have read through all the celebrity news I can find (LeeAnne Rimes and Eddie Cibrian might actually be the most annoying and irrelevant people alive today) and just reread my own blog (I am a narcissist so what do you expect? and realized I AM pretty darn funny).

I have not posted anything since Thanksgiving. Weird. I write funny stuff in my head all the time but, like the true professional procrastinator that I am, don't actually type anything out. I think I also have one or two Pulitzer worthy novels up there too. Lol. Ya right.

I have had numerous sleepless nights since just before New Year's and most of the time, I think about what I am thankful for. It seems I have spent much time in the last couple of months thinking about what I am thankful for since that was the whole theme of my last post. And it's strange because I am a die hard cynic. Is there such a thing as a sappy cynic? Or am I some sort of trailblazer?

New Year's this year was a bit of an anomaly. Although I was going through a miscarriage which was sad, I felt really thankful for what I did have in my life and excited and optimistic about what lies ahead. It just seemed weird to feel sad and excited all at the same time. I was thankful to have had those pregnancy weeks even though the outcome was disappointing. And, each day, I found at least one thing to be thankful for. Not just the big things like family and health but little things. I decided that the only New Year's resolution that I would make was to write in my blog each day announcing one thing I was thankful for... well, that plus lose weight, go to the gym more than once a month, eat better, eat less meat, write more, learn to save money, ride a horse, don't let the marking pile up, improve my French, not let that stupid F'ing dance game I got for Christmas get the better of me, stop the F'ing swearing...

Clearly, as it is nearly 4am on January 8 and this is my first post since October, I am a bit behind with my New Year's resolution. Here is to make up for lost time.

1. Today (pretending it is January 1) I am thankful for the paramedic. I can't believe that I have been lucky enough to find someone who will not only put up with me but actually seems to enjoy putting up with me. And I am also thankful that he lets me tell him everyday that I am thankful for him and he doesn't get all cocky about it... because that would be annoying and then I'd have to stop doing it. And that would piss me off... so I guess I am also thankful that he doesn't piss me off.

2. Today (pretending it is January 2) I am thankful that I have the kind of job security I have that allows me to take time off from work to sort out my health and I don't have to worry about salary or my position. I get that other people don't have that so I am thankful it is not something I have to stress over.

3. Today (pretending it is January 3) I am thankful to have a friend who always tells me I'm funny. I mean, I know I'm funny but, as a narcissist, I like it when people tell me I'm funny. External validation is always a good thing... I don't care what mental health practitioners say.

4. Today (January 4) I am thankful for Coke slurpees. For me, it is like a good bottle of wine. Seriously. I also give thanks to whoever gave birth to the inventor of the Coke slurpee. You made the world a better place. And I am thankful the paramedic and my son brought me one.

5. Today(January 5) I am thankful to live somewhere where we can BBQ in January without a jacket on and to have access to fresh veggies perfect for grilling. And I am thankful to have a BBQ again.

6. Today (January 6) I am thankful to Barb for giving birth to the paramedic... and to Larry for contributing to that as well. I am also thankful to have so many new people welcome us into their lives so warmly and generously.

7. Today (January 7) I am thankful for lazy afternoons at home... and for someone to share them with.

8. Today, as I sit here and right this long, sappy post, I am thankful for the ability to write and use words because it is something that I truly love to do, which feeds my soul and occupies me when I have had too much caffeine, read through all the celebrity news and just can't sleep...

Is this full of errors? Probably. Why? Because I cannot bring myself to reread it; it is probably so sappy and corny, I will gag, barf and delete.

Giving Thanks to My Most Dreaded Year

As I was driving back from the city this morning, I suddenly remembered how I spent my Thanksgiving Monday last year. Surrounded by police and grabbing a few belongings, I left a house I had paid for to escape a truly evil person and began a year of homelessness. The cynic in me felt that this was just the beginning of an inevitabley horrible year as I approached my 37th birthday - my dreaded age. Although I gave thanks that year for my family and my health, I really felt there was little else for which I could give extraordinary thanks. And I literally dreaded what was to come.

Oh how a year can change so much. The romantic or maybe the little kid in me wonders if I have so much this year to give extraordinary thanks for because I began this year standing beside my favourite person in the world in our favourite place on Earth - the Magical Kingdom. Haha. Seriously. It is. The student of Psych 100 in me recognizes that the reason I have so much to give thanks for is because last year I chose to walk away from evil, illness, manipulation, lying and demons and open myself up to laughter, love, hope and possibilities.

As I drove home on the rainy highway, I began to make a list of everything new this year for which I am so thankful. So, in addition to my annual thanks for my family and my health, this year I add (in no particular order):

1. My instincts - After ignoring you for a few years, I am so glad to welcome you back into my life. Thanks for sticking around and providing excellent guidance this year.

2. My education - I always tell kids that your education will never fail you and, this year, more than ever, I am thankful for the road that my education has taken me down.

3. The people my education and my job brought into my life - especially a wonderful woman who invited me to share her bed in Las Vegas. ;)

4. Home - After a year of living a nomadic life and enjoying the many opportunities that afforded us, I am thankful again to have my own roof over my head and to be surrounded by the things I love.

5. Greek style yogurt - Seriously. That stuff is awesome.

6. A wonderful community in which we find ourselves and the many wonderful people we have met including the kindest/funniest family I have ever known and a family with whom we can share vacations. To have had both these families welcome us into their lives has been a wonderful gift.

7. Having a child who is now old enough to figure out how to hook up Netflix through the Wii on TV - thus eliminating the need for cable! Yay!

8. A fellow recovering Catholic - who loves to call me loser as a term of endearment and always follows it up wth a heartfelt sorry. I am also thankful that this recovering Catholic finds me funny enough to join his comedy group and, although I am terrible, provides me with constant, over the top affirmation.

9. Trader Joe's and their amazing organic fair trade breakfast blend coffee beans. Ah-mazing.

10. My incredible (and hot) friend and stylist whose shop allows for Steel Magnolia style visits but without the death. She makes me look great and helps me feel great with her awesome personality and wonderfully insightful Facebook updates. And for her children - who have also given the gift of friendship to my child.

11. Glee. What can I say? It's Glee.

12. Two amazing friends who reminded me that when it comes to matters of the heart, it would be better to listen to them than myself. The same two friends who introduced me to Ship Happens. Visa thanks you as well.

13. Long term and long distance friends who can spend many miles and many months apart but pick up exactly where we left off. To our mutually verbally abusive affection for one another. 13 years and counting...

14. A certain paramedic who is the kindest, gentlest man I have ever met who not only brings me joy, laughter and excitement but, most of all, peace. Someone who - no matter what crazy thing I suggest - will smile and say "Sure. Let's do it." Thank you for all the hope and possibilities that you bring with you...

15. I also give super duper thanks to my extraordinary friend who is more like my sister (and sometimes my mother) and has, literally, been a life line for the past year. My spectacular friend who helps me look inside myself and laugh, laugh, laugh. The enthusiasm that she shows for my life makes me somewhat giddy...

16. Finally I give thanks for not having had a turkey dinner this year because, if I actually admit it to myself, I hate turkey.

As I sit on the couch in my home after having spent an outstanding weekend with friends and an incredible man, I am excited to think what I will be thankful for next year...

What does it take to get a little fairness around here?

I once had a counsellor tell me that my only "problem" was my need for justice. She told me that if I could let go of my need to find fairness in this world, I would really reduce my stress. She gave me this sage advice about seven years ago and I can honestly say to this day... it is a big of crock of shit now as it was then. I think of all the wrongs in this world... not just the big ones but all the little acts of unfairness and I can't help but think "why?" I can't even imagine just letting go of the feeling a need for justice and fairness - it just seems like that would lead us to complete apathy. Don't get me wrong - I have definitely learned to manage my stress levels and to laugh off the feelings generated when I see injustice and unfairness but let it go? Never.

So, today I end my first week of school demanding justice and fairness for those who deserve it. As a teacher, I think of all those high up in education who consistently reward themselves with wage increases, travel budgets, expense accounts while those of us on the "front lines" are left to pick up the pieces left behind by dessimated budgets and an education system that is, above all else, ready to implode. Rather than thinking "what will best serve the needs of the students" we seem to be in this culture of "what will best meet the bottom line"? I have been lucky enough these last few years to be in a somewhat sheltered teaching position but, with this new school year, I have learned exactly how screwed up priorities in education are. As a teacher, I wonder how long I will last before I join the ranks of the completely burned out and disillusioned. As a parent, I wonder how long it will be before my own child falls through the cracks and no one listens to my pleas for help while government officials continue to pad their pockets at the expense of our youth.

On a personal level, I end this day wondering where is the fairness in the universe. Why do good people suffer while those with cold hearts and immoral behaviour flourish? It is days like this where I question the existence of any kind of supreme being or wonder if we are all just biology. If there is a supreme being: I'd really just like to ask: what the fuck do you think you're playing at? Stop being such an asshole.

While I can find laughter in almost anything, somedays I go to bed thinking: I just don't get it.

And so it begins...

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/story/2011/08/31/bc-teachers-strike-student-impact.html


Teachers served strike notice the other day and comments on the CBC website demonstrate that, as a group, we are about as popular as Christy Clark at the SFU alumni only BBQ. Thankfully, after years of listening to angry, delusional rants from my former spouse, most of the comments do not bother me but make me wonder if these people would ever say these things to a teachers face. I doubt it... most likely because they would never admit to how ill informed they are.

Don't get me wrong: I love my job. I love almost everything about it. It's a great job but like any job - it has its good qualities and its bad ones. I could go on about how my job doesn't just go from 9 to 3 five days a week, September to June because, seriously, who hasn't figured that out? Oh right. The ignorant haters who write comments to the CBC. Normally, I don't reply to the comments but today I did. Here is the exchange:

Someone named VANSUN wrote (and the spelling errors are not mine):

"For most part of the summer, my daughter has to stay at home herself because none of her parents has a job like those teachers who can enjoy a two-month long vacation.

She has been patiently waiting for the open doors of her scholl and has been preparing for back-to-school supplies for quite a while. Autally, she gone to the malls with her friends a couple of times to shop her school supplies.

Now she had been ready back to school in great attitude and happy mood utill she learned the teacher's strike notice. She is actually crying and crying for going back to her long waited school.

May I ask those striking teachers stop taking my daughter and so many other boys and girls as hostages to get a raise for their own?"
 I replied:

"I am a teacher and a single parent. I will watch your daughter during my two month "vacation" if you watch my son four evenings a week and Saturdays during the school year while I work planning, marking, supervising extracurricular activities, meeting with parents and doing report cards. Would you mind if your daughter spent a week at school with me at the beginning of July and end of August? That is where I am during part of my "vacation" cleaning up from the previous year and preparing for the next. During the summer, would you mind if I didn't give your daughter all of my attention as I work planning for the upcoming school year? For every hour taught, two hours usually go into lesson planning. I realize you are ignorant but hopefully you can do the math. I hope the ignorance is not genetic and just a learned trait so your daughter won't inherit it... I cried for your daughter. I love my job, never complain about the hours but am so sick to death of ignorance like yours thinking I work six hours a day, nine months a year."

After my comment posted, someone chastised me for calling VANSUN ignorant. By definition, ignorant means lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact: uninformed. My referring to someone as ignorant isn't name calling - it is saying that they are lacking in knowledge and uninformed. So I will apologize for this: I am sorry if you are so ignorant that your primary gripe about teachers is that they "get" two months vacation in the summer and you do not. I also apologize if you think that teachers served strike notice because of a raise - go spend some time in your daughter's classroom and you will figure out why we served strike notice.

What I did find amusing about the reply to my comment was that this person told me to get childcare like people are "forced" to do during proD days and Spring Break. First of all, I paid my fair share of daycare expenses over the years so don't think that because I teach, I don't have childcare issues as well. ProD days are professional development or training days. Everyone gets training. Everyone. The logistics of being responsible for 20 to 30 (ideally)children make all day training impossible. That is just common sense. If we didn't continuing learning and developing as educators, parents would just gripe about that too.

Clearly, the commentator also missed the entire point of my offer to VANSUN... which is what I work during the regular school year so I can "enjoy" a two month long vacation.

It seems to me that many of these commentators - these two included - view teachers as publicly paid babysitters. And we have all seen the joke about how much teachers would make if each parent had to pay us according to current babysitting rates... I'm game.

Driving Your Bus on the Life Route

Wow. Haven't written anything since May 9. How sad.

As I was dropping someone off at the airport this morning and wondering where (of even if) this person is going to fit into my life, I couldn't help but think about "my bus." One of the things that I have realized about myself is that I am someone who likes answers; I want to know the why. If there isn't an answer to the why, I have a tendency to develop a theory to explain it. One of the little gems that I came up with during my boring stint as a cubby worker which coincided with my never ending divorce saga (yup Paulie - still married to this day) where many of my relationships with people changed and many great new people entered my life was my theory of "the bus." It helped me explain the "why" of what happens to our relationships and connections with people as we travel through our life journey.

Our relationships - whether they are familial, romantic or friendship based - all evolve, I think. Our life is like a bus journey (not the gross, humid, overcrowded commuting kind but the "just right" kind) and we are the driver of the bus. Some people get on the bus, stand near the back and get off quickly, some people get on the bus and stand for a very long time near the front and sometimes people get on the bus and act as our co-pilot... and there are people in between. And while people are on the bus, sometimes they move around, changing positions - looking for the right spot. Every relationship gives us something wonderful but people come and go... the wonderful thing about the bus is that it is always traveling and always picking up new people as others exit.

I think when we are young, our bus travels an urban route where there are always new people coming and going - people constantly shifting positions - usually for a short time. But we also have those passengers who get on our urban route, take a seat somewhere on the bus and continue on with us as our route changes -  maybe moving toward the driver or getting comfortable at the back. As we age, we change our routes - moving from fast-paced urban routes to longer with less stops suburban or even rural routes. On these routes, we pick up less passengers but they stay on the bus longer.

And, of course, sometimes - usually related to romance - we pick up the wrong passengers. You know, the ones who are can be malicious, rude, obnoxious, want to shove of us off the seat and drive it themselves or downright violent but who, hopefully, we have the sense to slam on those brakes and toss them off the bus - whether there is a designated stop or not. A little snag in the route but the journey will continue on...

Laugh, Shop, Wander

Move over Liz Gilbert with your sappy story of Eat, Love, Pray but thank you for the idea of giving my past six months three verbs to use to describe it. Unlike Gilbert I do not have an editor willing to support me on a year where my sole focus is on finding my joy while I travel the world. Instead, my verbs come from how I choose to lead my life given the circumstances which have currently presented themselves to me.

These are the three I choose: Laugh, Shop, Wander.

Laugh: I choose to laugh and to find the ability to laugh everywhere. I see humour every day in everything. I choose to surround myself with people who choose to laugh and who remind me to laugh. I seek out laughter - in the films I watch, the songs I listen to, the conversations I have, the stories I tell, the methods I use to teach, the activities in which I participate and the lense in which I choose to view my life. You try to beat me down? I laugh at the ridiculousness that is you. Laughter... with some faith... is my religion.

Shop: My shoe collection has grown exponentially in the past six months. I have chosen to embrace my love of this sport... hahaha. What else can I say? To have shop is my second verb is a much smarter choice than drink or gamble.

Wander: This verb came to me as a byproduct of my circumstance. However, I have chosen to embrace this verb. I have wandered. I have tried out homes, taken a train trip, flown several times, road trips and even tried traveling for work. Wander. While I miss my things and having my own private place in the world, I am learning to embrace the freedom and adventure that this action provides. As a young adult, all I wanted to do is wander and somehow I lost my way. Funny on how letting such an evil person into my life has allowed me to rediscover my desire to wander.

Will my year end in Indonesia with Javier Bardem? Doubtful... that fate is currently left to Penelope Cruz. Will my year end in an adventure? I certainly hope so and if I have my own Javier Bardem to keep me company... even better.

Laugh, Shop, Wander... what will my three verbs be in six months time?

The Family Who Governs Themselves Accordingly...

As I continue to ponder what it means to govern yourself accordingly, my father is now too trying to figure that out as well. As a family, we stand together perplexed. I mean... it is not like there is a self-help or how-to book on how to govern yourself accordingly... particularly when you are being held to the standards of one's who level of morality, common sense, ethics and brains is so far beneath yours that they are like specks of dirt on the floor. However, as we receive an abundance of correspondence letting us know what it means to govern yourself accordingly, we soon hope to be able to publish "Governing Yourself Appropriately... A How-To-Book for the Good People who do not know how to Act like a Morally and Ethically Bankrupt Person." The title is a bit long - but we are working on it.

The one lesson that we keep learning over and over again: when you are wrong, be on the offensive and never, ever tell the truth.

Here is what else we have gathered: when people are bothering you - even when you have asked them repeatedly to leave you alone - you do not govern yourself accordingly by referring to that person as a "jackass." Athough it is a noun listed in the dictionary as a "male donkey" or "a contempibly foolish or stupid person," apparently people with low morals who commit ethically and criminally wrong acts feel that it is not appropriate to refer to them in this fashion. Go figure.

Also... when people call you immature for walking away from someone who has lied to you, conned you, stolen from you and threatened you, you do not govern yourself accordingly by advising them that they have long ago crossed the fine line between maturity and insanity. Lesson learned. Okay to call someone immature. Not okay to point out a person's insanity.

What do these people who do not want to be referred to as a "jackass" or "mental" do? Apparently, the best way to govern yourself accordingly when you are harrassing someone who does not appreciate it and calls you a noun listed in the dictionary - you call the police to report this atrocity... to right the wrong that has been done to you. Because this, of course, is the best way to demonstrate that you are neither a jackass or a mental case.

Always remember to "govern youself accordingly..."

I was recently warned by someone who has done many illegal and immoral things and who is taking anti-psychotic medication that I need to govern myself accordingly. This is funny on so many levels and I seriously don't even know what that means. Govern myself according to whose standards? I think mine are pretty high but there are a lot of grey areas in my world. Should I lower my standards to govern myself at his level? Or do I follow Harper's lead in governing myself... and sidestep the blame? It is the word "accordingly" which is so ambiguous that it is causing me great confusion.

Always one to follow unsolicited and hypocritical advice as I constantly strive for self-improvement, I wanted to make the most of this advice so I did my research: I sought out the definition in the dictionary... and although I still have no freakin' clue what it means in the context of this advice, I do know this: it is an adverb which is pronounced "uh-kawr-ding-lee" and is not to be confused with accordian - an instrument similar to a piano you hold that my dad won't admit to knowing how to play.

I will assume that the advice is meant to imply that my behaviour has been called into question and that I need to improve upon that. I thought I governed myself pretty well... I don't litter. Except for my criminal window tint, I don't really commit any crimes. I recycle. I eat my veggies. I donate to charity. I'm not really a troublemaker. I colour inside the lines. I pay my taxes. If I actually took the bus, I would totally give my seat to an elderly person. I moved from being in the cubby to prepping children to either dream beyond the cubby or embrace the mediocrity that comes from life in the cubby. Except for my whole "Christy Clark" thing I don't really disparage anyone publicly... not even people taking an anti-psychotic that doesn't seem to be working.

I am perplexed. I thought that maybe if I used this expression, took ownership of this saying that I would understand the apparent great complexity of it all. I tried using it on friends and family. They just shook their heads. Some even laughed (can you imagine???) I tried using it on the dog - she just wandered off. I tried using this in the classroom as a classroom management tool. I said it out loud. There was silence... for a few brief seconds. Then looks of confusion and then the end result... Kids just laughed. I did too. So I guess the saying does serve some purpose... bringing people together over the absurdity of it all.

Here is my advice: the next time you feel blue, that life is just too serious for you... take a good, long look at yourself in the mirror and sternly say "govern yourself accordingly..."