I was recently warned by someone who has done many illegal and immoral things and who is taking anti-psychotic medication that I need to govern myself accordingly. This is funny on so many levels and I seriously don't even know what that means. Govern myself according to whose standards? I think mine are pretty high but there are a lot of grey areas in my world. Should I lower my standards to govern myself at his level? Or do I follow Harper's lead in governing myself... and sidestep the blame? It is the word "accordingly" which is so ambiguous that it is causing me great confusion.
Always one to follow unsolicited and hypocritical advice as I constantly strive for self-improvement, I wanted to make the most of this advice so I did my research: I sought out the definition in the dictionary... and although I still have no freakin' clue what it means in the context of this advice, I do know this: it is an adverb which is pronounced "uh-kawr-ding-lee" and is not to be confused with accordian - an instrument similar to a piano you hold that my dad won't admit to knowing how to play.
I will assume that the advice is meant to imply that my behaviour has been called into question and that I need to improve upon that. I thought I governed myself pretty well... I don't litter. Except for my criminal window tint, I don't really commit any crimes. I recycle. I eat my veggies. I donate to charity. I'm not really a troublemaker. I colour inside the lines. I pay my taxes. If I actually took the bus, I would totally give my seat to an elderly person. I moved from being in the cubby to prepping children to either dream beyond the cubby or embrace the mediocrity that comes from life in the cubby. Except for my whole "Christy Clark" thing I don't really disparage anyone publicly... not even people taking an anti-psychotic that doesn't seem to be working.
I am perplexed. I thought that maybe if I used this expression, took ownership of this saying that I would understand the apparent great complexity of it all. I tried using it on friends and family. They just shook their heads. Some even laughed (can you imagine???) I tried using it on the dog - she just wandered off. I tried using this in the classroom as a classroom management tool. I said it out loud. There was silence... for a few brief seconds. Then looks of confusion and then the end result... Kids just laughed. I did too. So I guess the saying does serve some purpose... bringing people together over the absurdity of it all.
Here is my advice: the next time you feel blue, that life is just too serious for you... take a good, long look at yourself in the mirror and sternly say "govern yourself accordingly..."
