Happy New Year!

When the kidlet and I toured around his new school yesterday, it was so peaceful. Schools before classes begin always remind me of Christmas Eve; everything is in its place, quiet preparations are underway, everything waiting for the real fun to begin. As we were wandering the deserted halls with the lights turned off, a teacher burst through the doors singing "Happy New Year." While it wasn't quite the same as my all time favourite commercial for Staples with the father "skating" through the aisles with the shopping cart to the tune of the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, it made me smile.

The start of the school year is our new year, new beginning... as I imagine it is for many households. January 1 is just an extension of the Christmas season in our house. This is our time of change. As a teacher, each new school year is like starting a new job with a whole new batch of co workers; I bring my knowledge and skills from my previous job and blend it with all that is new. Just like starting a new job, there is always the excited nervous anticipation. And, of course, the constant changing of classrooms and course loads also helps in making it feel like a new job every year. After what was a tumultuous year in public education in BC, I look forward to a fresh start as we wait out the demise of our current government and a less oppressive future. For the kidlet, new grade, new teacher, new classmates - it is sort of the same. But for both of us, back to a regular schedule after two months of little routine and, frankly, where we lose track of the day of the week and forego pretty much all the household rules.

I'm sure I have said this before but I love change; think about how bored we would be without it. It is probably what I love most about teaching; every year is different. In the past, change in our personal lives usually went hand and hand with drama, craziness and chaos; to experience change as part of the natural evolution of life has been such a blessing. This past year our household has seen many changes some of which have been challenging, some a little bit sad but with a whole lot of wonderful.

As I visited today with a truly incredible lady who I have not seen in 11 months, we shared the many changes in our lives over the past year. As she recently celebrated fourteen years of marriage, she remarked that it is so wonderful and such a special gift to find a life partner. And how much more fun the changes in our lives are when we have someone to share them with! I could not agree more; I give thanks for this each and every day. In a lot of ways it is a strange feeling knowing that you will never have to experience anything alone ever again; strange in a "pinch me", "is this a dream?" sort of way. It is like winning the lottery of life! It makes the rough stuff challenging rather than devestating and the good stuff more spectacular.

With many changes behind us and many more to come, I am excited for our new year and how we will evolve as a couple and a family. I look forward to watching the paramedic take over the household on his weekdays off, to sharing our home with a teenage hockey player, to watching the kidlet develop neighbourhood friendships and to finally accomplish his goal of being taller than me. How different all of our resolutions will look this year!

Happy New Year everyone!

Oh the Inevitable... Quelle Surprise!

Why is it that, even though we know something is inevitable, we are always surprised when it happens?

You know, like the kids who ride their longboards down gravel ridden roads and are shocked when they end up with road rash. Or the ones who never complete any school work, rarely attend class and then can't figure out why they didn't pass the class.

After watching Jon be browbeaten by Kate on televeision was anyone really surprised that he left? Seriously. Or that Lindsay Lohan ended up in jail? Or that Kim Kardashian's second marriage only lasted 72 days? Any, yet, headlines are filled with words like shocker, unbelievable, breaking news. The only thing breaking about these stories is that anyone waited until after it happened to write about it.

Take the teacher's strike, for instance. Were any of us - teachers, parents, students, general public and even teacher haters - surprised that teachers took a settlement? Of course not! No matter what we say to kids, the fact of the matter is that all of us can only take being beaten down for so long. So, despite our best efforts, it was totally inevitable that the teacher strike ended at the end of the school year. So why am I surprised? Is it because part of me wishes that not everything politically related be a foregone conclusion? Probably.

Politicians and teachers are a funny mix. It is like the lopsided friendship where one is a giver and the other a taker... and yet, at the end of the day, the taker is the one pointing her finger screaming "YOU are a bad friend" and the giver is left thinking, "Wow... did not see that coming" when, let's face it, it was inevitable.

Politicians have placed more and more demands on teachers while removing financial resources and support to help them get the job done. Not surprisingly, after a while of trying to just go with the flow and avoid any sort of altercation, teachers are going to say "Hey, wait a minute. This is inequitable and unreasonable. And sort of a little insane." And what happens in the end? The inevitable. The taking politicians point their fingers yelling "Greedy! Greedy! Greedy!" all the while bypassing their own huge raises and padded expense accounts.

So, when news agencies begin to report that teachers are leaving the profession before retirement, moving to other provinces or that teacher education programs see less graduates applying for positions within BC, why feign surprise? It is a foregone conclusion. Doesn't it come down to what we all learned in elementary school? Relationships are give AND take not take, take, take and then be pissed off when the other party asks for a little something in return or just walks away?

On a personal note about the inevitability of things, can I really say that I am surprised that after months of publicly giving thanks for the paramedic that, once there has been a lapse, he reminds me of how many days it has been? To which I would reply: on that specific day, I was very thankful that my new husband did not trip over the full garbage sitting in the kitchen waiting to be taken out as he continuously walked around it. And, I would imagine, for him that response was inevitable. ;)

55 Years of Humourous Perspective

It is funny how we can go years without seeing our family and, yet, when we get together we are still that: family. Never strangers; always family. I don't really know why we end up going so long without seeing people who mean so much to us; it just ends up happening.

As I spent yesterday laughing and dining over a six hour luncheon with my great aunt and uncle, I am reminded of how much family traits permeate into who we are - regardless of distance or time. Someone once said to me that when they look at the kidlet, all they see is his dad but once he makes faces, gesture and opens his mouth, it's all me. I saw this yesterday in my great uncle who I have adored all my life; he is an 80 year old version of my dad from his gestures to his sharp, dry wit.

After my great aunt chastised us for a two year absenteeism ending with "glad you didn't die or, worse, hate us," the conversation turned to marriage with their celebrating 55 years. I was so in awe of this couple who still held hands at the table while talking about how they met in the Yukon, funny stories about the patience needed to be a couple and what they have learned from each other and their incredible family. It was so heartwarming to watch an 80 year old couple tease and look at each other so lovingly.

Inevitably, the conversation came to my recent nuptials. Never one to beat around the bush, my great aunt asked what "the husband" was like. Before I could answer, my parents, aunt and uncle all chimed in that he is a great guy, so handsome (my aunt!) and they were all so happy. My mother added that his family is wonderful; his mother a "real hoot" not unlike my great aunt. It was hard not to be weepy when my uncle proclaimed, "She sure got it right this time." It seems I am not the only one relieved that I found my prince.

As I tackled painting the hallways and stairwells today, I believe that the paramedic - on his split shift - drew upon the patience needed for a successful marriage as I whined about not being able to reach the high spots and leaving unpainted chunks for him. :) How, exactly, is a short person expected to paint a high ceilinged stairwell?

What am I thankful for today? That I married a tall prince who is just as an impatient and terrible painter as me and that we have lots of photos to put up on the walls. :)

Maybe Just a Taste of the Kool Aid

I forgot to go to church today. Actually, truth be told, I did not realize it was Sunday - courtesy of summer vacation and a husband with an irregular work schedule. Do I actually go to church? Nope.

When paramedic arrived home and I said "I forgot to go to church today..." there was an apprehensive pause on his end. I am sure that there was a moment when he panicked and wondered if I had hidden some sort of religious fervour until after the wedding ceremony. Seeing the look on his face, I laughed and told him to relax, that I wasn't drinking the Kool Aid... I was just thinking about tasting it.

In the last few years, I have really begun to be fascinated by people and their faith in organized religion. They seem to have a great sense of overall peace and a real sense of community. Studies show people who belong to an organized religion generally lead happier, more satisfied lives. Who wouldn't want that? And what, exactly, is the secret? However, I am skeptical enough to realize that there are probably just as many studies which show that religious faith is detrimental to your overall wellbeing.

When I think about all the people I know who have experienced challenges or tragedies in their lives, it is the ones who belong to a religious community who appear to genuinely heal and find peace with whatever they have encountered. Having recently attended the Christian funeral for a woman not much older than me, it was quite literally breathtaking to hear this woman tell her family (through video) that she was at peace with her death.

I follow the blog of the sister of my teacher friend whose child was born sick and died at 18 months. Rather than focus on her own grief and loss, she speaks about the gift of life, family and faith. The amount of admiration I have for this woman I have never met is monumental. It is her faith in God that I am curious about because, should anyone ever doubt the existence of a fair and just God and everlasting life, it would be this woman.

Am I in search of peace? Not really. For the most part, I have found it. I don't really want for anything. Well, maybe ice cream. I have an amazing husband who adores me, a fantastic, healthy & happy child, wonderful family & friends, a home and a job I love. So I don't really know what drives this curiosity. It's kind of like an itch that I just need to scratch...

I joke with my family that when I am on my deathbed, I will have a priest, a preacher, a rabbi, a Buddhist monk, an imam and basically every other sort of religious cleric just to cover my bases because, at the end of the day, we don't really know what will happen once we die. If I admit it to myself, part of me hopes that I can avoid all of this by tasting the Kool Aid and liking it... now just to remember next Sunday that I do have an itch.

If It's a Bromance, Does That Make You Brovers?

Tonight, I realized I am witness to a full-on bromance. As we talked about our plans for our housewarming wedding reception, I watched my hubby and my surrogate brother discuss in an almost giddy fashion the beer that they will make. How kind I was to marry the paramedic so as to provide these two with their first beer keg making opportunity. Apparently, it takes longer to weigh all your beer making options than it does to plan a three layer beach themed wedding cake. Who knew!?!

On our wedding day, the paramedic and I did not dance. In fact, we have never danced. So I wonder what it means that tonight, for the second time, the paramedic shook his moneymaker with my surrogate brother? But who can be mad when you are witness to two white guys tummy bumping to dance music?

Is my nose out of joint? Well, for the number of times that I whine "you were my friend first" you might be inclined to think so but I am not. Honestly, I am not. I am thankful. The bromance makes the paramedic happy and makes me laugh. It does make me wonder: are they brovers? Not that there is nothing wrong with that.

I am also thankful that a funny little kid who, for the longest time, would only speak to me at the cabin actually jumped into my arms tonight to give me a good-bye hug. Jumped! We are truly thankful for this family who have embraced us as a couple and who only ever ask for our friendship in return. To know that we are unique and interesting to another couple is almost as special as finding the one person who truly gets you. Cheers to the elusive gift of couple love... in a non swinger way.

Having someone offer to make your wedding cake is an incredibly generous and meaningful gift. How truly lucky we are.

As I write this, with the paramedic snoring beside me, I feel nothing but love. Gushy, cheesy, yell it from the mountain tops love... and I give thanks for that every single second of every single day... even when the beer induced snoring is super duper loud.

Team Us Happily Ever After

Sometimes I wonder if I am becoming a traditionalist or maybe I was always a closet one. I mean, I am so excited to be Mrs. Paramedic that I am tempted to call everyone in my address book just so I can say, "Hi there, it's Mrs. Paramedic calling." At this moment in time, I don't even care how cheesy that is.

When I was younger, I thought that a woman taking her husband's last name was just sexist inequality making us seem like possessions. Now, I view it as joining a truly great team. Meeting the paramedic changed my thinking and I found that I was actually excited to take my husband's name. Heck, I changed my Facebook name a week in advance. The shared last name identifies us as Team Us.

But even though I have a new team name, I am equally blessed to remain an alumni player for my "maiden" team. And I am so incredibly thankful that my maiden team coaches are so supportive and excited for my new team as well. How lucky I am.

When we arrived home, my five year old "nephew" asked me why we were wearing rings. I told him that when we got married, we became a team and the matching rings are like our jerseys. It was certainly simpler and made just as much sense as repeating what was said during our ceremony: The rings are a symbol of your marriage. They are symbolic of the fact that you have this day pledged yourselves to marriage, and as the ring is a perfect circle without end, it is the wish and hope of all that your marriage will be as perfect and without end. They will always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect, and a public showing of your commitment to each other.

Walking around the happiest place on earth with my family, it was so wonderful to see my parents and my inlaws (both couples being married more than forty years) walking around holding hands. Watching these two couples, it is easy to see that they are still in their Happily Ever After. As we walked around hand in hand the paramedic joked about me overcoming my aversion to public displays of affection. In the happiest place on earth, with my very own prince, I was just so thrilled to start our life together as Team Us Happily Ever After.

California Bride

I love California. I really believe I am a California girl born in the wrong region. After spending the day lounging poolside at the home of my San Diego family and watching the sun go down from my bayfront hotel room, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Peace. How I adore feeling this way.

I am so incredibly thankful to have found the person I am meant to be with, the one who brings me peace. I so look forward to standing next to him tomorrow on the beach with the kidlet and devoting myself to him for eternity. 

People have commented about how calm I am about everything and I can only shrug and tell them I feel at complete peace. Surely they have to be tired of hearing it by now. But there is really no other way to really describe it. Elated. Content. Complete peace.

Having spent the last few days with the new additions to my family, I feel so grateful that this incredible person who has picked me out of the billions to choose from also has such a wonderful, welcoming family too. To have people welcome me and my child  into their family without reservation is a magical gift.

Tonight, as I have a few hours of solitude, I am so thankful to be so blessed.

And for the free wifi so I can type this out on my phone. :)

Live for Today & for Your Family

Today was, above all else, a reminder that nothing is more important than your family and that really we should just live for today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? And the past is over and done with and nothing is going to change that.

As I sat with my son at a memorial today for his friend's mother who was just four years older than me, I thought about all that I have to be thankful for. While this young girl spent the morning at the cemetery saying goodbye to her mother, I spent that time getting pedicures with my guys and my mother as we get ready for our family trip. So frivolous yet the things that memories are made of; memories of things just like this that this family shared today. As I watched the tears fall down my son's cheeks as he listened to his friend speak so eloquently and courageously about her mother, I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Grief and gratitude sometimes need to go hand in hand for us to truly appreciate all that we have.

As the day went on, I couldn't help but think about the grief stricken husband and his focus on the 23 years he spent with this woman rather than the 23 or more he has been robbed of. How lucky he is to have had 23 years of true love. What a wonderful gift and how thankful he must be for that. I am sure, if he was asked, he would not trade those 23 years for anything.

Memorials always make me think about my own mortality... I would imagine it is the same for most people. I always ask myself: If it all ended tomorrow, would I be at peace? As I watched this woman's final words to her family and friends reassuring them she was at peace, I imagine that she was grateful for the life that she had. She certainly seemed at peace and how grateful she must have been for that.

As I sit here writing this in a home full of love, laughter and respect, having spent the evening preparing for our trip, I know that - should it all end tomorrow - I, too, have found my peace and I am so eternally grateful for that... and the hair cut that the kidlet got today... and the paramedic accompanying the kidlet on his first pedicure.

As for living for today, as I had hummed and hawed about packing something that might not be the best idea for someone my age, I threw it in anyways. What the hell. Live for today.

Cross Border Shopping: Fiscal Responsibility or Patriotic Infidelity?

So, once again in our house, the topic of crossing the border to shop has come up. Grocery shopping, to be exact. For some reason, the household opposition does not seem to take issue with ordering items online and crossing the border to pick it up (ahem... someone has five new pairs of shoes he would not otherwise find in his size). Nor does it seem problematic to have people bring us things when they come to visit.

As our stockpile of items that our Oregon and Washington visitors have brought us in the last couple of months dwindles, I am tempted to raid the shelves of Trader Joe's and use my Costco card in Bellingham. This is met with great resistance from an otherwise extremely laid back individual. And, I mean, great resistance.

The discussion continued the other night and I was outnumbered two to one by the paramedic and my cousin (um... hello? a little family  loyalty would be nice). Both believe that it is important to support our local retailers and to keep our local economy going. While I agree with this - in principle - I am conflicted as a middle income earner who tries to make my dollar stretch. My new favourite beverage - peppermint tea - is over $2 per box cheaper at Trader Joe's than at my local big box store. My tummy friendly coffee is less than half the price. The list is pretty much endless. A two dollar or more difference on several items adds up significantly - even when calculating the cost of mileage to travel there.

And what I would like to know is why oh why is there such a price difference on the exact same items? The paramedic likes to talk about "pink sludge" but I am pretty sure that there is no "pink sludge" in my peppermint tea... and huge chunks of Tillamook cheddar cheese or Monterey pepper jack cheese do not seem to upset the paramedic's stomach so I doubt there is any "pink sludge" there either.

Incidentally, as I was discussing this topic this morning with my friend - and talking about my experience car shopping with the paramedic - she wondered out loud why someone so adamant about not buying American is holding tight to his American brand preference? To which I responded... hhmmmm... good point.

But to return to the current dilemma... Where are my loyalties supposed to lie? With my local economy or my household budget? Am I really a bad Canadian if I am trying to find ways to better provide for my family?

Yippee Skippee for Change

Back at school today and looking forward to the changes for the upcoming school year. So, today, I am thankful for change. The great Ross Gellar said "No one likes change except for a wet baby." I do not think that we all skip gleefully towards change but sometimes change is a good thing. All the change in my life has been an absolute blessing. If you could see me right now you would see me jumping up and down, clapping my hands and giggling at the change that is to come...

So, to keep it brief: I am thankful for a paramedic who loves me, hot showers, catching up with old friends, peppermint tea, sane people, California vacations and blonde highlights.

And I promise to make the coffee tomorrow... ;)

Can It Get Any More Shameful?

Community Living BC, which provides services to the developmentally disabled, closed group homes and cut back services. Last fall, it was announced that the "bonus structure" for executives was
"abolished." The bonus structure was for between five to 10% of their salaries - totalling about $300,000. At the time, the Liberal Social Development minister stated: "That is up to the board to decide how they compensate staff at CLBC. But what they will do is they will go away and look at a new system of compensation that doesn't include a bonus-type structure." Interpretation: they can still have the money; they just can't say it was a bonus.

Fast forward to this spring and surprise! surprise! there are no more bonuses but the people scheduled to get a 5% bonus are now getting a 4.99% raise and those in line for a 10% bonus are seeing their salaries go up 9.66%. Thankfully, we cannot be outraged by this because, as our illustrious premier explained, these are not bonuses but "holdbacks." As she explains, after much sputtering and humming and hawing "What used to happen before is that they had their base pay -- some of it was held back until they met specific targets."

Wow. So now they don't have to earn their bonus - we just hand it to them. While I am confident that the premier does not have the sense to be ashamed of not only these actions but her ludicrous explanation, I certainly hope that Stephanie Cadieux does. And what about the people receiving these bonuses? How can they accept this money knowing that they are not meeting the needs of the people who it is their job to service? Greed. Greed. Greed. That must make all those in need of CLBC services who are not receiving them feel much better.

Incidentally, CLBC reports that it costs about $48 800 per year*, on average, to provide supports and services per adult per year. Surely, the $300 000 would be put to better use providing support for six additional individuals.

Perhaps our premier could spend less time prepping for media coverage and her overpaid PR consultant could teach her the meaning of "priority" and "decency."

*http://communitylivingaction.org/facts/funding/

Scottish voices, sedatives and home health care pros

Today I give thanks for the  male Scottish nurse who has now woken me up twice from sedation in the last four months. There is something nice about waking up in a fog and feeling pretty certain that your long deceased Scottish grandfather is whispering in your ear.

I am also thankful for whoever invented sedation. I cannot even imagine these procedures without them.

Finally, as always,  I am thankful for my personal paramedic who stayed home to take care  of me. If only emptying the dishwasher was part of his training...

Celebrating All The Special Days...

It was one year ago yesterday that the paramedic and I had our first official date. It was also the first and last time he ate tofu (at least that is what he thinks)... but that part we did not celebrate.
In addition to being thankful for my dad as part of the Hallmark holiday of Father's Day, yesterday's giving thanks was a total no brainer. I am so thankful that I went on that date last year despite having the world's worst headache and an incredible amount of trepidation... what a wonderful gift that one decision brought into my life. Thank you to the wonderful ladies in my life who nudged me along the way.

As we celebrated our life as a couple - and most importantly our friendship - the paramedic made an offhand remark that next year we will be able to bypass this anniversary to celebrate a different one. Ummmm (insert sound of screeching brakes)... wait just a minute. Why celebrate just one special day when there are many more? The first meeting is the starting off point to all those special ones so I believe it needs to be celebrated just as much as the wedding anniversary... because without it, there would be nothing else. That Friday evening last June was the "big bang" (if you will) for all of the incredible things that I give thanks for every day. And I intend to celebrate that every year.

My brother joked to the paramedic that he needed to get used to celebrating everything... including the first time we ate rice together, the first time we sneezed in unison, blah blah blah... and everyone laughed. I laughed too but it got me thinking. Why not celebrate all those wonderful firsts? Our memories are so much a part of what makes us who we are... celebrating all the silly special days helps remind us how truly lucky we are for all that we have. And, as he patrols the house, picking up all my flip flops scattered in every room and organizing the counter clutter, I hope he will always reminder and celebrate that special day when he first collected all my shoes, returned them to the closet and figured out how many pairs there actually are :).

So yesterday, like everyday, I ended it by saying "Thank you for choosing me" out of the millions to choose from.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu

Never, in all my life, have I known such strength and courage. I am so incredibly excited for what lies ahead for us as a couple and as a family. I cannot wait to begin each day with you.

Why Hello There, Sunshine...

As I sat outside enjoying the sun and flipping through the latest issue of People Style Watch, I gave thanks for the warmth of this elusive friend. After what seemed like a never ending winter - even yesterday I was wearing knee high boots and a cashmere blend sweater - I am so excited for the summer and all the wonderful things that will come with it.

I'm also thankful for the smile and laughter on the paramedic's face as he saw my lobster-esque chest... and his friendly reminder that the goal is golden not scorched. Probably time for a Groupon for a spray tan.

As our trip is fast approaching, I am also grateful - after the debacle with my first choice - that I have fianlly narrowed down the all important dress to three very different contenders. Now just to choose... or maybe keep all three and just have several ceremonies throughout the summer. :) I keep thinking of my sparkly friend who would wash her dishes in her wedding dress and think how wonderful it would be to have three different outfits for cooking dinner. No dress for dishes since that ain't my job... and I am super duper thankful for that.

And not to beg but... please, sunshine, stick around all weekend... you, me and the paramedic will have so much fun. Promise!

My sparkly friend, education and hilarious "grammar" videos

Sometimes it's the people who find the seats in the middle of our bus who get comfortable and stay for a long journey. I am grateful for those who choose to stay on my bus and enjoy our travels together. On Facebook today, one such friend posted something about getting her sparkle back. It's not like she is some sort of Stella who needed to get her groove back, she just felt like she lost her "sparkle." What I admire about my friend is that she is, to me, always sparkly. No matter what life throws at her, she can always throw her head back and laugh her hearty "oh my god" laugh. I have never met anyone who is more self aware and even when she makes some really bad choices - and there have been some doozies ;) - she is the first one to admit it. I give thanks for her today and every day and really enjoy the times when she moves to the front of my bus before making her way back to her comfortable seat in the middle. I am also so grateful that she laughed out loud today when I referred to myself as her "moral" friend (old joke) and reminded me of my own doozies of bad decisions as well. You, my sparkly friend, always govern yourself accordingly.

I also think I would be remiss if I did not give thanks for my education. As my district handed out heavy pink slips this year and drew the lay off line really high, my education saved me from joining the ranks of the unemployed. I am grateful that I took a chance a few years ago and took a layoff from my previous district. Had I not done that, I never would have ended up in a protected position which I only got, in the first place, because of my specialty education.

And, sorry guys, but I also have to come out and say that people mixing up "your" and "you're" drives me crazy. I know I have developed a social sieve because I no longer point it out when people mix them up... but it is so annoying. I am so happy to have found this video to share... it's just too bad that it is so profanity laced that I can not use it in the classroom. The next time you are typing please remember some of the lyrics and stop making these idiotic mistakes. Puh-lease!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=32p8d6OudgU

Thankful that I'm not "that" guy...

It's amazing what some people just can't let go of... I admit it took me a long time to just chalk negative experiences up to all part of the journey and to focus on the here and now. A little over a year ago, I received a rather amusing letter (although I think the intention was to threaten and cause fear) advising me that I needed to govern myself accordingly. Every now and then, I think about this ridiculous "advice" and its source. It never fails to make me laugh. I am pretty sure I govern myself accordingly but still wonder to whose standards I was expected to hold myself to. I generally hold myself to my own and it seems to work pretty well.

I recently read one of those annoying photo things that people share on Facebook which read something like "Why do we keep people in our lives who have already left?" This is hilarious considering that a lot of our "friends" on Facebook are not people who are actively a part of our lives. But it also makes me think about those people whose lives we have left who just cannot let go.

A couple of weeks ago, a negative comment showed up on one of my posts calling me a whiner and a lazy loser. So weird. I see absolutely no point in someone making a comment like this. To hurt me? It's a cowardly comment made by someone who did not identify themselves. Certainly it was from someone who I have chosen to exclude from my life; an anonymous comment on a blog won't change that. I deleted the comment.

Another nasty one - from a blog post nearly nine months ago - showed up yesterday. A comment made in the middle of the work day. I wonder if I should feel flattered that I had such an impact on someone's life that they are reading through old blog posts in the middle of a work day. I am not flattered - just sad. I feel sad for this person that they aren't able to figure out that you shouldn't keep people in your life who have already left.

So, anonymous commentator, please remember that while you are thinking of nasty things to say, I am so thankful for all the wonderful people, experiences and things in my life today and tomorrow that I just want to share it with whoever is willing to read it. Sorry you can't say the same.

Tears & Sadness

On a day where my child spent Mother's Day with another woman and quite possibly the meanest man to ever live, I am hard pressed to find something amusing to be thankful for.

I am thankful for tears and how sometimes they are the only way to express just how sad you feel. When you can't possibly find the words to express yourself, they seem to say it all.

At the end of today, just like the end of every day, I am so incredibly thankful that I no longer live with a man who is the embodiment of evil. I am grateful that I am not a woman who is so insecure and weak in spirit that I fail to see what is wrong with a man who tells a woman she deserves a miscarriage and who makes sure that a child does not spend Mother's Day with his own mother...

Because, today, I realize that it is okay to be sad and I am thankful for that. And I am so incredibly grateful to know that it will pass quickly because having known true evil makes me appreciate the goodness and lightness that has become a part of my daily life.

Smurf Bath Rings & Punctuation

Before I begin my evening, a quick note of thanks for things that made me happy today.

I am so thankful that I found a purple Smurfette shirt for under $15. I love that the Smurfs are French and am seriously considering basing my entire French 8 curriculum on them. Surely the 40 kids (plus 5 special needs students who will be in the class but not actually taking the course) I will have in each section next year will love it.

I give thanks for the relaxing powers of a bubble bath. Yippee for a house with a deep bath tub.

And thank you to the paramedic for letting me wear my wedding ring around the house... and not laughing at me... well, to my face anyway.

Finally, I am thankful for punctuation because without it it would look like I was talking bath rings in the shape of Smurfs. Good punctuation is an important skill but probably something that the 45 plus kids in my Language Arts 8 class can do without - I mean, we have spell & grammar check, write?

Foot Rubs, Fancy Feet and Family Time

Yay! and Thanks! to anyone who rubs my feet - whether that be the funny little lady who does my pedicures or the guy who loves me so much he (seemingly) is not bothered by my smelly feet.

I am thankful today for foot rubs and fancy feet after a great afternoon of family time with my mum and aunt. So much fun to wedding and trip plan over pedicures and lunch... and I love the little coincidences in life... like talking about hop on/hop off tours of cities and then not even two days later discovering a Groupon offer for one! Woohoo! A little mini holiday in my own hometown.

I also end the day giving thanks for family time... pedicures and lunch, an afternoon visit and cuddling on the couch to watch, boo and cheer as part of our Survivor night and ending the evening watching the second best Modern Family in the world take their own hilarious trip to the Happiest Place on Earth... what a wonderful way to end another sunny day.

And, thank you, my beautiful female canine companion for recovering from your own 80 year old man stomach episodes in the middle of the night four nights in a row. I am sure the only one more relieved than me that your multiple trips outside and taking short naps on the back deck in the middle of the night are finally over is you! Be well, my beautiful girl or we will be forced to share my fancy new peppermint mixture pills.

Heaven Help Me... Despite Everything, I Love Him

Anyone who knows our family knows that I frequently whine and complain that I need rescued from my rescue dog. Never before have I had such a needy, stubborn, downright disobedient and permanent puppy for a canine companion. I was actually shocked the other day to realize that he is now five years old... and I am still waiting for the adult dog behaviour to kick in. Such a change from my beautiful old soul canine companion.

Despite my best efforts to "give" him to the paramedic, regift him to my parents or trade him for a passport eating, jumps so high she licks my sunglasses puppy... it seems he and I are stuck with each other.

As I tried to have a relaxing bubble bath yesterday but was thwarted from all the canine whining and crying on the other side of the door, it dawned on me that despite everything I love him. Who else in our lives loves us so much that our being on the other side of a closed door is so traumatic that it elicits tears of sadness? Who else will continue to love us despite being called "retard" or worse? Who else will cuddle with us when we are sad despite being routinely told to "take a hike" or shoved away with expletives? Who else will lick our smelly feet and gaze upon us adoringly?

In a world where our friends can punish us for speaking the truth and drop us at the drop of a hat, how can I not be thankful to have the unconditional love of my canine Mama's boy?

So today, even though as I write this I can hear him from drinking out of the toilet before heading upstairs to lie on my freshly laundered bed, I am thankful for my Mama's boy dog.

And, as an aside, I am also grateful that the paramedic continues to retrieve the dog when he makes his grand getaways... and I am also thankful that I have someone in my life who is so incredibly special that my canine Mama's boy now cries when he lives for work... in the afternoon... the mornings are too early for the dog to apparently care.