Somebody asked me once why I was constantly following entertainment news. I think my reasons for being enthralled by everything "Hollywood" has changed over time. Now, I simply find it hilarious - funnier than sitcoms simply because these people aren't trying to be amusing, they are actually serious. It is wittier than anything that a sitcom writer could come up with.
Case in point: last week there was a "news" special on television entitled Celebrity Weight Loss. This was so funny on so many levels. Since it's the beginning of the year and 99.33333% of women around the world have all pledged to lose weight in 2011, I am excited for this program. Surely it will provide me with all the insight I need to look exactly like Jennifer Aniston. I am giddy with anticipation on this "news" program providing me with all the secrets.
Disappointment Number 1: a bunch of people I don't know rate celebrity diets based on health related issues. BORING. Who cares? Why not rate it on effectiveness and WHERE are the secrets? None. Zilch.
Disappointment Number 2: the celebrities profiled are Rikki Lake and Kendra Wilkinson. Uuummm...was Carnie Wilson busy or something?
The good news is that these two women were hilarious without even trying.
Rikki Lake reveals her secret to losing one hundred pounds in something crazy like six months or something. Impressive. What is the secret? Starving herself. She starved herself for six months and lost one hundred pounds. She ends her disclosure with "Although it was effective and I've kept the weight off for more than 10 years, I don't really recommend it." So you've just told a continent of overweight women that starving yourself is effective but you don't recommend it. Seriously? I think all the women are going to hear is... 100 lbs less than six months. But thanks for letting us know that you don't endorse it even though you talked about how it really worked for you on an internationally broadcast program.
Kendra Wilkinson... oh! where to begin? Kendra Wilkinson sincerely sat all teary eyed and talked about how hard it was for her to be on television after gaining 60 lbs during her pregnancy, how it was hard to get back into shape, and listening to people make fun of her. Okay. Well I sympathize with her. I mean, after all, she didn't choose to expose her life to the general public. I mean - who thought people would actually watch her "reality" show? How did she know that all those cameras following her around the house would actually capture her overeating and the muffin top waistline over her lulus? I mean. She was a playmate - she probably didn't know that all those shiny things capture your image and have the ability to replay it over and over again.
However, I am happy to report that Kendra has overcome all the insecurities brought about the criticism. She proudly stated to the interviewer that she is perfectly content with her post-baby body... that she has grown from this and is no longer the body-obsessed woman she was when she lived at the Playboy mansion. She is going to wait until after her second baby to have all the cosmetic surgery done... so that she can feel truly beautiful... and she deserves it. Wow! What growth.
I am truly humbled by the wisdom and insight these two "celebrities" shared with us... and thankful, once again, that a celebrity opening their mouth is even funnier than a stand up comedien.
